You're ok - Todobaku

29 Aftermath

TW Mentions of suicide (aftermath of Shotos death)

Bakugos POV

I was pretty messed up after Shotos death. All of class 1-A was given three days off school but I didn't even go to class after than. I just sat in his room and cried every day for about a week. I wouldn't eat and even when my classmates would come to see me (because the door was left unlocked) and give me food, I wouldn't do much of anything. I thought him dying was my fault and I tried to get comfort from the stuffed bear I had gotten him. 

When it was the day of the funeral I could barely get out of bed. I ended up throwing on some random semi-formal outfit and not even bothering to clean myself up after about 4 days of endless crying. I finally went to school on Monday, after about a week of isolating myself. I was a mess. I needed to catch up on school work but I didn't want to. I barely paid attention in class and caught myself up in even more work.

I had lost my explosive personality for the most part once we started dating. I was calmer but now I was just sad. I was moping around over his death for multiple months but it slowly got better. I still rarely went out other than to go to school and I refused to go back to my room, staying in Shotos room for many months and never going back to mine. Even when I did come out of the room after many months, it would just be coming down for food and wouldn't stay long.

I couldn't function for months on end but it did eventually get better. After I graduated from UA, I packed up the things from both dorms and moving to a simple house near the city. I still visit Shotos grave at least once a week and just sit by it and talk about what's happening. I told him that I become the #2 hero with Deku as number one. I constantly tell him that I miss and love him and sometimes it actually feels like he's there listening to me.

I still wake up every morning, just hoping that the whole thing was a dream and that I'll wake up one day and he'll be back. But it hasn't happened. I've tried dating again after I graduated but nothing could compare. No one I could find was really my type. I know that I'll never stop missing and loving him but things heal. I no longer cry myself to sleep every night thinking of him, I no longer isolate myself from people, and I no longer feel like it was my fault.

Things change and stuff happens and you just have to deal with it. Life will say fuck you every so often and you have to learn to say fuck you right back. I can't wait until I die and I get to see him again but for now, I'll live for him while he's no longer here.

516 words

There will be two more chapters after this. Be prepared for a long A/N on the last chapter but for now, I won't bother ranting to you.