bet | lee donghyuck

- fifty four

walking out of the ice rink, he held my hand tighter. i could tell something was wrong but i didn't want to pressure him, especially since he told me he would show me something later.

the car ride home was silent. no music, no jokes, no sarcasm. the only thing keeping my mind busy was the feeling of donghyuck's hand on mine as he drove us to his house.

we arrived still in silence, the only sound filling the car was a soft sigh from donghyuck. i was starting to feel a bit nervous.

we walked up to his door, and a familiar feeling came back to me. his house looked rough, to say the least. before, i had only seen the inside of it, and never paid much attention to it as a whole.

but seeing its entirety, and not being half asleep this time, was much different. we entered the house, and already, what i could see in the darkness was enough to make me start crying.

he turned on the light, and what i saw in front of me made my heart crack a little.

his house was mostly empty with the exception of a couch, a tv, and a few kitchen appliances. things i didn't notice before were sticking out to me now.

for example, i didn't notice that on the fridge, there's a singular paper hanging onto it with a magnet that says;

"son, don't worry! i'll be back in less than a week. i've left you some supplies to hold you until i get back. love, mom."

slowly, i picked it up off of the fridge to examine it better, and out of what seemed like nowhere, donghyuck's hand took it from mine and set it on the counter.

"don't mind that, it's been up there for years." he brushed it off, and i swear i felt my eyes fill with water.

he made his way to the couch, which i vaguely remembered from the last time i sat there.

i joined him. he wasn't saying anything, so i decided to start a conversation for him.

"are you okay?" i asked, trying to gain eye contact.

instead of directly answering my question, he replied, "honestly i thought you would've left by now."

"why do you say that?" i asked.

"people never stick around after seeing how i live." he mumbled, lightly chuckling out of nervousness.

i felt really bad. i noticed he started to get more reserved, almost embarrassed.

i scooted towards him more until we were sitting as close to each other as possible. i looked up at him slightly, and he tried to avoid eye contact.

i opened my arms and without saying anything i took him in my embrace and hugged him as tight and as snug as i could.

he didn't know what to do, but after a few seconds, he reciprocated my movements, wrapping his arms around me too.

we sat there for a while until i heard sniffles next to my ear. he was slouching a bit so his head would rest on my shoulder, and he started to cry.

might i add very softly, but not going unnoticed by me.

i slowly moved out of his grip to look up at him and wipe his tears.

he frowned, "i'm sorry." he stated.

"why?" i asked in a soft voice, "there's nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault."

he stopped crying and met my gaze. "that morning that you woke up here, and i basically shoved you out the door with a piece of toast, that wasn't anything personal. i just didn't want you to fully come to your senses and realize what was around you so i panicked. i tried to clean it up a little while you were sleeping but i realized i couldn't do much to make it look presentable and i was ashamed."

"hey," i put my hands around his neck to comfort him, "when you're with me, you don't have to worry about being ashamed."

"it's just different," he said, "i've never met anyone like you. and i don't plan to in the future. you're the only one."

my eyes widened. was he really thinking about a future? with us? the lee donghyuck??

i smiled, "i could say the same about you," i paused for dramatic effect, "...sweetheart." i added with a teasing voice.

he groaned and pretended to gag at that pet name, "i hope i never hear that come out of your mouth again." he laughed.

"hey, so i don't get to call you sweetheart ironically but you can call me princess unironically??" i moved my arms from around his neck and placed my hands on his cheeks. he started blushing.

"okay that's different, cuz you're actually a princess," he smirked, " i mean look at you."

i tried not to let that statement affect me too much, "okay well then you're actually a sweetheart. literally." i retorted, and by that point, he had nothing left to say.

after a long pause of silence, he broke the air, "you make me so happy." he smiled gently.

i smiled back and said, "i must be dreaming cuz i have never heard those words before and i never thought i would hear them from you." i chuckled softly along with him.

"why aren't you questioning me being weirdly soft towards you today?" he asked.

"i didn't want to ruin the moment. it might never be like this again." i laughed, a little more than before.

"jesus, you're so dramatic." he smiled, and then his facial expression softened.

his eyes moved down to my lips then back up at me. the look in his eyes gave me so much hope yet so much longing, that i almost didn't know how to react.

i'd always seen this in movies; they look down at each other's lips, then back up at their eyes, back and forth until they lean closer to each other, ending in a soft kiss. but this time was different. this time wasn't on a movie screen and i wasn't watching other people experience the moment, whether it was fake or not. it was real. i was standing here, experiencing something that happened in films all the time. it felt surreal, and it hardly gave me enough time to prepare myself even though the gaze he gave me seemed to last forever.

finally, he started leaning in. just like i had seen those many times. those awkward family movie nights where we'd have to pause the kiss scene even though i'd secretly wish to keep watching it just so i could feel any part of a relationship i could, just to feel that maybe some day, it would happen to me too.

i leaned in with him. slowly, our lips connected. again. and again. and for the second time, i felt lost in the stars, but found in his heart. i felt safe. nothing could ruin the moment.

nothing at all.