R H A P S O D Y

{38}✔️

{Dahlia's POV}
••••••••••••••••••

"She can't have the baby right now! I'm trying to have my date right now!" Kit panicked.

"Well, I'm sorry sweetie, but we need to lay Josephine out on the table, maybe use some tongs to hold her legs up—No, I'll need the tongs to yank the baby out—" "Billie, She's not gonna have the baby on the kitchen table, we're more civilized than that," Dad shook his head. "Let's get the dining room table set up instead. It's more fancy! There's a chandelier in there!"

"Wha—You guys are both stupid!" I huffed. "She should sit on the toilet, that way it'll be just like she's taking a dump. She can just shit that bitch out and then bloop! A star is born!"

"Okay, but the problem with that is, the baby will end up in the toilet bowl." Bea told me like I was dumb. "A toilet bowl baby. Is that really what we want?"

"Well, it's not like it'll remember it's first moments of life being inside a toilet," Billie shrugged. "I don't see any harm in it."

"Better yet, why don't you just make Josephine stand over a trashcan?" Reed asked. "That'd be convenient as hell, cause then all the other shit that comes out with the baby will already be in a trash bag. All you gotta do is pull the baby out of the trash can, then you can take out the trash! I don't know why actual doctors don't do it that way. It's easier for everybody!"

"A trash baby? For real? Is that really what we want?" Bea sighed.

"Everybody, shut up!" Cadence shook her head. "Come on, we'll get Josephine into her and Mr. Doe's room! She can have the baby on their bed!"

"On—But we have to sleep on that!" Dad pouted.

"We'll put a towel under her!" Cadence huffed before grabbing his arm and dragging him along.

"Cora!" I called. She came running into the kitchen before I could even finish calling her name. "You call 911. They won't be able to get out here any time soon but they can help us deliver the baby. Tell Hayes to google how to deliver a baby." She nodded before running off again.

"Denny, Ori, you guys stay by Josephine's side and let her squeeze your hands anytime dad's not around. She's gonna be in a lot of pain and she'll need—"

"Wait just a minute!" Ori shook his head quickly. "Listen, I wanna help and everything, but her squeezing my hand is a no go. I just got a manicure and I don't want her ruining it—" "You can either let her squeeze your hand, or you can use your hand to dig around in her vagina and pull the baby out," I narrowed my eyes at him. "Either way, your manicure will be ruined, so I don't care which option you go with."

"Such a bitch." He stomped before tossing his scarf over his shoulder and stomping out dramatically.

"Finneas, you can help my dad dig around in Josephine's vagina to pull the baby out." I nodded at him."Um? I don't remember signing up for that?" He raised his brows at me. "I came here to have a good time and I'm honestly—"

"Look, aside from Claudia, Madi and I, you have the most common sense out of all of us! If anyone's gonna help deliver the baby it should be you!"