R H A P S O D Y

Struggling

So as you can see, this isn't an update and I'm sorry for that. This is probably going to be messy and all over the place and I'm sorry for that too. I really don't know why I'm taking the time to write this when I could just stfu lmao.

Anyways as I've mentioned in the past ??? Shit ton of authors notes on my recent chapters I am not motivated to write this story at all and I'm really struggling. It's been so long since I've written for it consistently that I'm starting to forget what went on in my own plot which means I'll have to go back and reread to refresh my memory which means creating new updates will take even longer since I'll have to wait til after I've done that.

I'm determined not to end this book before its actually finished because;

1.The plot is great and the best one I've ever written, I love the characters and think they deserve a proper ending, and I can't leave yall wondering who the hell is killing bitches left and right without giving you a proper answer. I'd feel terrible.

2.I've always done this in the past. I get unmotivated and just discontinue the story because I'm no longer interested. I refuse to do that this time.

3.I know so many people read and enjoy this book and I don't wanna just leave you hanging.

So don't worry about me no longer updating, I promise I'll finish this eventually.

I'm just making this to say that I'm struggling to find the will to write for this book anymore, for several reasons.

I'm busier now than I used to be when I first created this story. I spend most of my days studying Korean, which I know I technically don't have to do because it's not like I'm in actual college studying it or some shit, I'm just self-teaching. But it's keeping me sane during this quarantine and I've always wanted to learn another language so...Yeah. It really takes up a lot of my time.

When I'm not studying Korean I am still writing, just not for Billie and just not this story.

I still love Billie and enjoy her music but I'm not a hardcore stan anymore. Nobody throw rocks at me, I promise I still love her. But you know how it is when you go from thinking about someone all the time to just occasionally checking in on them. If that makes sense?

It's just that this fandom is toxic as shit and I don't wanna be in it lol. I felt mean for thinking that way at first but I've seen so many Billie stans who feel the same way. It isn't Billie at all, it's just some of her stans who make it hard to really enjoy her. There's new drama every day in this fandom, people are so mean to each other, everyone's always jumping to cancel people, the second Billie mentions liking something or someone everyone all of a sudden happens to love that thing too, and vice versa, when she doesn't like something or someone everyone starts a hate train up for that thing. It's like nobody is capable of thinking for themselves, and I think it's mostly the younger part of the fandom who is like this but it's also some grown-ass bitches who should know better.

People make a huge deal out of everything and preach about being kind to each other but the second someone makes a mistake or does something 'wrong' everyone is jumping down that person's throat. Nobody's allowed to even so much as say "Billie's shit probably stinks." Without the fans getting defensive and sending excessive hate to that person which is insane because shit usually do be kinda smelly tho.