R H A P S O D Y

{47}✔️

Sunday, January 13th

{Billie's POV}
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I sighed as I pushed some of my food around on my plate, trying to work up an appetite, but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about all the people dying right before my eyes.

I was sad about Mackenzie's death, for sure. We'd only been friends for a short time and then things went a bit downhill with us, but still...It sucks when someone you once knew suddenly vanishes from existence. One day they're alive and well and the next they're gone, never to come back. It's sad shit.

Mackenzie's death didn't make me feel nearly as bad as Kai's though. We hadn't been talking that much recently. We weren't enemies like how we'd first started out, but we weren't close either. Still, her death might just be the one that's made me feel the saddest. Especially after what she'd told me when she was staying with me for that short time.

She'd told me about how she'd wanted to end her life, but she decided against it because she wanted to continue living and seeing how things would go for her. She'd seemed so happy lately! She was finally away from her horrible family and living with two of her best friends. She was finally making real friends and she finally had a girlfriend that she loved. I thought she was doing good! I hadn't even thought much about what she'd told me a long time ago. Maybe I should've.

I wish I'd asked her if she was still doing okay at least every once in a while instead of just completely putting that talk we had behind us. I'd basically forgotten that she'd even contemplated taking her life in the first place, and now look what happened. She's dead.

I should've known to check up on her.

I wish I'd gotten a chance to talk to her one last time before she passed away. I wish I'd gotten a chance to talk to Luna one more time before she passed away too.

The last time I'd talked to her was back in the summer when she was lying to me about her dad being dead. When she'd caused me and Dahlia to fucking break up for that short time.

There's so much I wish I could've said to her. For starters, I would've cursed her ass out.

Then I would've asked her why she always—since the very beginning—felt the need to manipulate me and make me miserable every chance she got. Why she couldn't ever just let me be happy without causing issues.

I wish I'd never met her, and I'd tell her that too if she was still here. But she isn't still here and I'll never get the chance to tell her anything ever again. I fucking hate that. And I hate Luna, but I would've never wished death on her. Nobody deserves to die so young, and nobody deserves to die the way she did and nobody deserves to have their body thrown into a fucking ditch.

Who could do something like that to another human being? There's nothing she could've done to deserve that. Nobody deserves that shit no matter what they've done.

"Billie?" Finneas mumbled as he tapped his fork on my plate. "You okay?"

I could tell by the way he was looking at me that he knew I wasn't, but I shrugged and sent him a small smile anyway. "Everything just sucks right now."