Sacrilegious ][ WOOSAN

13

San

I turn towards Mingi in our first hour, and the expression on his face says everything.

"I'm still mad at you you know." I sigh knowing he's still mad about me not telling him about Wooyoung.

"Can I make it up to you by sharing some details?" Mingi only looks at me expectantly. "Okay so last night was crazy, and he was at my house, and we sort of you know."

"Bro what even. No way you guys are already, this is so fast. Are you being safe San? Last I heard he was trying to mess up your status here, and Yeji, please do the right thing San. I don't want to see you hurt, but you have no right to cheat on Yeji like that." Mingi was ranting at this point, but I saw the worry in his eyes.

"I can't decide Mingi. I mean Yeji is so nice and if I break up with her it'll ruin everything, people will find out that I'm..."

"I know San, but either break up with Wooyoung, or break up with Yeji, it's the right thing to do." Of course I knew the best option was to break up with Wooyoung, but my body gets in the way of my logical thinking. The rest of class all I can think about is Wooyoung and his lips, his smile, his di-

"San?" I snap out of my trance quickly, as the bell rang a few minutes ago, but here I am staring off into space.

"Ah-Yeji! I missed you." I muster up all of the positivity I can, and wrap my arms lazily around her waist.

"Sannie, let's skip the rest of the day. Please?" She makes a cute face, and I can't help but want to oblige. 

"Yes, we should....Oh, Yeji, I have afternoon service, I can't leave school." She pouts but nods her head in understanding. It's moments like this that I remember that the only reason we are dating is so Yeji can stay popular, but I try to see past that when it seems like she really cares. 

"Sannie, I'll see you at lunch, okay?" I nod, and she grabs my hand and walks me to my next class, and I smile at her before heading inside my next class. Of course I forgot Wooyoung was in this class, so I just don't make eye contact as I seat myself. I feel my face heating up, but I decide to pay attention to the class. All is going well until we have free time to study, and the teacher walks up to my desk, and places her hand firmly on my shoulder.

"San, can you help Wooyoung focus for me? Based on your project work last time, it seems you two work well together." I gulp and nod, pleasing the teacher, and she heads back to her desk, and I walk over to Wooyoung who instantly turns to stare at me.

"Pretty." his words are followed by a light giggle, and I blush at it, trying desperately not to show that Wooyoung is doing anything to me. His hand interlaces with mine under the desk as I help him conjugate some verbs. We are able to focus for the most part, but with our hands resting on my thigh, I shudder at every small movement.

"Wooyoung." I say in a small whisper, knowing what I have to do in order to stop the path we are so obviously headed down. He turns to me, eyes glistening. "We need to stop this, we can't keep doing this." He doesn't respond audibly, but turns his head quickly, not daring to look in my direction.

"I know." It comes out hoarse, and I see a tear drop from his cheek. I want nothing more than to kiss him, to tell him I am joking and that I would never be able to leave him. Not after everything we've been through. "You're right, it's best Sannie." The nickname suddenly seems cold, and Wooyoung's whole demeanor changes. He turns back around and smiles at me with a soft sorrow that could melt a demons heart. 

"I like you Wooyoung, I really do."

"I know you do." Bitterness fills his tone. 

"You understand why I have to do this right?"

"Of course, your reputation comes first...The bell is going to ring, you should pack up." I can tell he is hurt as he points to the other side of the classroom where my backpack sits. I nod solemnly and grab my notebook, and shove it in my backpack, being the first one to leave for lunch when the bell rings. 

The cafeteria is full of the usual loud groups of people, and I find myself drowning in uncertainty, easily hidden by the loud laughs and cute couples that fill the room. Drowning, struggling to breath, I need something, but what?

"Sannie!" Yeji jumps onto me, legs on my hips, and we spin a few times before I gracefully place her back on the floor. Completely thinking about Wooyoung, I kiss her aggressively,  earning a moan from her. She places her hand my hip, and we have a quick makeout session in front of everybody, some people staring, others oooing, and the rest just looking at us with disgust. None of it matters to me, as my feelings are having a war with each other as it is. I am unable to enjoy anything that is happening to me, I feel completely numb. Yeji separates from me, telling me something about joining her friends, and I wave mindlessly, my eyes drifting to my lunch table where I head to slowly.

"Nice show." Mingi remarks when I sit down. I only scowl at him, and he laughs loudly, Jongho also laughing with his new friend who just so happened to be my previous crush, Hongjoong. 

"Glad you enjoyed it so much." I sigh as I unzip my lunchbox, pulling out a soggy sandwich and eating it slowly and without any enthusiasm. Mingi then turns to only me, and glares at me relentlessly. "What?"

"Are you horny or something San? That was extreme." Mingi takes my sandwich out of my mouth so I can answer.

"I quit it with Wooyoung, you happy?" I say sharply. 

"Really? I'm proud of you San, it was the right thing to do."

"I love Wooyoung, Mingi. I can't do this." Mingi sees the desperation in my voice and eyes, but he doesn't say anything only points to the cross hanging up all the way across the cafeteria.

"Yeji is better for you, and you know it." I grimace at his showing me the cross, remembering that even a part of Mingi struggles with me being gay.

//*

I left you guys waiting, but holy frick, 1.2k reads? Y'all are insane, thanks for the support. I'm doing a double update, and it will also be from San's point of view, it's about to get crazy, which also might mean we're close to the end, but maybe not, I really have no idea. Anyway, thanks for reading and voting, I love you all.