1 | 𝐹𝐴𝑁𝐴𝐴 • 𝑝𝑒𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑝𝑎𝑛 ✓

1

• Fuck My Life •
Word Count ~ 1141

All I ever wanted was adventure,
To get away from reality,
A new home,
A family who would love me,
Instead of hurting and abusing me,
Was that so much to ask?

The bright street lights of London shone down upon me, a black hoodie covering my upper half and some blue ripped jeans on my lower half.

Rain dripped upon the hood of my jacket in a light shower. I raised my head slowly looking around but saw no one else on the street with me.

I lived in a dodgy area of London, you know where criminals liked to go and the poor had no choice to stay.

My family used to be well of, we had money, we were happy... but then my mother passed away. My father was completely broken, I was only six at the time so I didn't fully understand what had happened.

My father tried his best to be there for me, but life as a single parent soon became extremely hard. At age nine he started to drink.

He would come home late at night, drunk as hell, it was hard of course but it never got physical. Well that was until I turned ten.

He said that I started to look like my mother, Katherine, and he hated that. He said that every time he looked at me all he could see was my dead mother.

It was the night of my tenth birthday that things really started to go downhill. He came back to the house but instead of passing out on the sofa like he usually did, he came back angry.

Just my luck because I was the closes thing he could take his anger out on.

Then before I knew it, it happened like clockwork. My father would comeback home late, abuse me, torture me, insult me, then go to bed like nothing happened.

My grades at school suffered drastically and I lost all of my friends. I became the person who sits at the back of the class and nobody notices.

My life at home was shit and school was my get away. Well... until the popular girls started to pick on me. When I turned twelve and just went into year 8, Victoria and her group of minions decided it would be fun to make my life at school a living hell as well.

My life at school, and at home both turned rotten, and I had nowhere to go. It continued like that for four years. My life was like an endless cycle of pain, torture and misery.

Everyday was the same,
get ready for school,
use makeup to cover up the bruises and cuts from the night before,
sneak out the house without waking dad up,
get to school,
run into Victoria's group before class,
they beat me so I'm late for class,
lunch come around (don't eat anything),
go to locker at the end of school,
Victoria and her minions beat me up behind the school,
run back home in pain and arrive back home late,
dad scolds me saying that I'm a mistake,
I go to my room and do my homework,
get waken up late at night to dad coming into my room, drunk,
he abuses and beats me, then goes back to his room and falls asleep,
I go to my bathroom clean up my wounds,
Then go to bed.

Th cycle is the same every. single. day.

Never changes.

I sighed to my self, coming back from my thoughts. I grab my phone from my back pocket and check the time.

11:45 it read

I've been doing this quite a bit lately, not coming home until late, to try and avoid my dad. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and when it doesn't, god help me.

Th streets of London are quite quiet at this time, it's peaceful, the only time that I get to think, the only time I get to escape the reality of my fucked up life.

I'm now standing in front of my house,

'But it always ends too soon' I think to myself

I grab my keys and open the door as quietly as I can manage.

'Please please please say that he's either asleep or not home yet' I mentally plead

But tonight it looks like my luck fucked me over, because I'm suddenly standing face to face with my fuming drunk father.

"Where the hell do you think you've been you stupid ungrateful bitch!" My father shouted in my face, spit flying from his mouth. My face retracts in a look of disgust and I cower away from him lightly, looking down at my feet.

"I-I'm sorry father, it won't happen again" I studder, knowing fully well what was going to happen next.

"Your right it won't" he growled, venom in his words. He grabbed my arm forcefully and started to drag me to the living room.

"No! No please father! Don't! Let me go!" I scream, tugging hopelessly at the grip he had on my arm trying to get away.

He suddenly turns around and slaps me across my face. The force of the slap sends me to the floor and he lets go of my arm.

"I can't believe your still alive, you cunt, your probably out late every night fucking random boys just like the little whore you are" he says to me, a look of disgust plastered on his face as he looks down upon me.

I avert my eyes from his glare, but that only seems to anger his more.

"Look at me when I'm talking to you, bitch!" He grabs me by the hair and pushes my head into a wall. Punching the wall a few centimetres from my face. I let out a whimper and tears stream down my face in pain.

He leans his face closer to mine, so much so that I can smell the alcohol in his breath hitting me in the face.

"I wish you were never born, maybe if you were dead your mother would still be alive" he hissed at me, before punching me in the gut and slamming me to the ground.

My vision starts to become blurry as he starts to kick my stomach and back and before I know it my whole words goes black.

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Damn well I hope you enjoyed the first chapter,
I promise the next one will be a little less dark.
If you have any feedback, thoughts or opinions on the story I would love to hear them, so leave them in the comments!
I will be posting the next chapter next week and will start to update weekly so I guess I'll see you on the next chapter
Bye for now Xxx
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