Always

Chapter 18

LISSA

        Saturday I had only talked to my friends minus Niall, about Niall and I. We had only talked for a half hour at most but it had drained me completely and I had just screamed in rage at myself and watched Dirty Dancing. I had moved past the crying and now the rage, it felt like I was grieving in stages and I wasn't sure how I felt about it. 

        I got up lazily and took a shower. Crusted blood ran down the drain. I gasped loudly as the water hit my scratched up feet. After the shower I wrapped my feet and finished getting ready. I wasn't even getting ready for anything because I was wearing leggings, a big sweater, and boots when I moved from one place to another.

        I got texts from everyone, including my father. I didn't open the conversation and deleted it without a second thought, he could try to apologize all he wanted, nothing could make up for what he'd done. I then saw a text from Elizabeth asking if I wanted to hang out. I debated on whether I should go do something or not I should. I didn't feel like getting up but, I did want to hang out with someone to get my mind off of all the shit going on. 

        I went to the bathroom and looked at my reflection. I had faint tear stains. I washed my face again and put on a light coat of mascara. I was way to lazy to actually change and I was very comfortable, so I didn't put something different on. I even looked a little cute which I didn't think I did often. I texted Elizabeth that I'd be at her place in 10. I got my keys and phone and was on the road. I listened to quiet music and quickly arrived at Elizabeth's. It had been only a few weeks that I had known the girls, but I already felt so close to them. And that is why when I walked into the house I was feeling like cussing a lot to drain some of my anger at myself about Niall.

        "What's up fuckers!" I yell carelessly. I feel like I'm drunk. And now a drink sounds lovely. Elizabeth laughs when she hears me. I follow her laugh to the kitchen. I glanced at my phone and saw that it was already 4. It felt like I had just had pizza for lunch in front of the tv. 

        "Hey girl!" Elizabeth shouted even though we were in the same room. I then saw that she had just put headphones on and was rocking out to ACDC. I didn't really like rock but at the moment I wanted to let loose. She used some magical thingy on her phone and the song played throughout her flat. I was amazed and grinned. We whipped our hair back and forth and did terrible dance moves. We jammed for almost half an hour. I started to get tired after the 10th song. 

        Elizabeth turned the music to quiet music with her phone. We sat on the couch exhausted. I laughed when she showed me a recording of our previous dance session. We had wild hair, crazy facial expressions, and horrid dance moves, but we still rocked those songs. We laughed 5 minutes straight. Then the doorbell rang. Both our heads turned to the door and then at each other quizzically. Elizabeth and I went to the door and she opened it. On the other side of the door was Mae, Dakota, and Kat. 

        They looked at me with happiness and sympathy and did what they later told me, they had refrained from doing yesterday to give me space: a group hug. They all hugged me and I felt a million times better. They all came in. I then thought of that drink I really wanted. 

        "Hey guys! We should go to the club tonight!" I shout gleefully. Everyone screams in approval. I laugh and Elizabeth turns the music back to rock and fast music. My phone buzzed. I looked to see who texted me. I froze and turn my phone off. The one person that I can't respond to. Niall. I try to forget that by getting on the kitchen counter and dancing. Dakota joins me as we do our worst sexy dancing. I laugh my head off after finding out that almost all the girls ahd video taped it. These videos would most likely end up on social media. For the rest of the evening we just goofed off and hung out. But I swore to them that I was saving all my good moves for the club and added a wink to that statement.

        Elizabeth was going to lend us all clothes since she was our size and had the biggest closet ever. Around 9 we started to get ready. Since Kat and Dakota were models, they knew how to do makeup and style quite well along with Elizabeth of course who was always starting trends. We began with makeup, Elizabeth surveyed her clothes and looked for what everyone should wear and the rest of us did makeup. Kat did my makeup and Dakota did Mae's Elizabeth did her own and so did Kat and Dakota after they were finished with ours. I have to say, we look stunning. 

        But tonight, I'm not getting involved with anyone, I'm just drinking and relieving stress. My dress said differently. I came to my mid thigh and hugged my form. It was black and teal and down right sexy. Everyone looked really hot with the full look. Elizabeth had straightened my hair. She had tried to get me to leave it down, but I wouldn't go out like that and put it into a slick ponytail. We drove in Elizabeths car since we were going to all crash there. 

        When we got to the club the first thing I could smell was sweat. Bodies pressed together and I walked over to the bar.

        "Can I get 5 shots of vodka?" I shout to the bartender over the loud music. The bartender was a man my age and was very handsome. He had sideburns and messy hair. It was raven black and his skin was shimmering with sweat, but also golden and tanned. He nodded and I had my shots in a minute. 

        "For you and your friends?" He asks as I down the first two. I look up at him guiltily. 

        "No... Just trying to forget some things so I might get very drunk." I said straight to the point. He chuckled and I laughed as I thought of how stupid I must have sounded.

        "Well I will keep you company since I'm paid to do so." he chuckles lightly. "I'm Xander." He extends his hand over the bar for me to shake. I give him my hand and we shake.

        "Lissa." I say and let go of his hand. "Now I'm going to drink!" I yell. I get a few stares and just roll my eyes at them. This is a club not a funeral hall. I finish off all the shots. Xander talks to me more and I'm pretty sure I tell him way to much because alcohol makes you say everything on your mind. He doesn't want me to get drunk because he enjoys my company, but I need to forget for as long as I can. 

        At one point in the night I do a drinking contest and end up downing half a beer keg. After winning the contest I went back to bar and continued to talk nonsense with Xander. It was nearing 3 in the morning. I stumbled around the club for at least half an hour as it started to empty and I couldn't find the girls. My head started to hurt so I went back to the bar. I told Xander I couldn't find my friends. His shift had ended and so he helped me look, but we couldn't find them. I almost fell alseep on the bar I was so tired. I kept drinking and couldn't remember much, but I do remember Xander carrying me to his car and taking me to his flat. 

        Around 4 I woke up again for a short time to find Xander and I spooning in our clothes from last night. I was so tired that I just went to sleep. I knew that I would be very late to self defense classes tomorrow or just not go because it would hard to pretend like nothing happened between Niall and I.

 [A/N OK REALLY SORRY IT TOOK AWHILE BECAUSE I HAD TO LET THE CHAPTER IDLE UNSAVED ON MY LAPTOP BECAUSE THE INTERNET WAS BROKE AND I WON'T EVER REALLY HAVE AUTHORS NOTES AT LEAST TRY NOT TO SO I DON'T INTERUPT THE STORY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT]