love is underrated.

Chapter Forty-Four.

It was Payton all along, ever since that first night on tour with Jaden and I's argument. It was him who made it better, it was him who was there for me. Anthony was just pure lust. On tour with a load of guys, and going through a break up. Least to say it was hard. Anthony was there to help take my mind of and heal the wound of losing Jaden, but he also made that situation and me feel worse about everything. I was so focused on making him see that I wanted to love him that I just blinded myself of all the things he did to me. The bad things. It was just lust, the sex. After all of this with Payton I see that now, I know how it feels too fall in love with some one at first sight. My feeling for him were just pushed aside since I didn't want to face anymore heartbreak, now I know he wouldn't do that to me. And I love him for it. Yes, I've finally come to terms with the fact that I love, Payton Moormeier.

After this kiss we didn't talk about it, I think we were both scared to talk about how we felt even though it was needed. Payton was downstairs talking to his mom since she just got home from work and I was upstairs in Payton's room. I always wondered what it was like. He had the color changing lights and a bean bag from vidcon. I opened the door to his closet and picked out a black hoodie. I took of my clothes just leaving me in my panties and I put the hoodie on puling it down over my knees. I grabbed the collar holding it to may face inhaling the scent of his cologne on the fabric. I grabbed my nike pro shorts out of my bag and put those on before I flopped on the bed. Pay gave me back my phone earlier on so I just scrolled through TikTok to kill some time. My whole following feed was just Anthony and I started getting angry, there was no way of getting rid of him. I blocked him out of pure frustration and threw the phone down on the bed. "Ugh." I sighed into the pillow. 

Soon after my phone buzzed continuously and I just answered without even looking who it was. "Hey." I said holding the phone to my ear as I lay against the pillows. "Please don't hang up." His voice echoed. Seriously. "I told you to leave me alone Ant." I growled. "I'm sorry, for everything." He softly spoke. "You might be sorry but it don't change anything, I told you were done. Your a cheater and I hate you." I said with pure anger. "I want to fix this." He continued. "Fuck you Ant, don't come to me with this bullshit. You're not sorry at all, your making it look like I did this to us." I said putting the phone on speaker as I put the phone down on the bed. "Daisy please." He said. "I said no Anthony. Don't you get that you hurt me. I trusted you and you just threw it back in my face. I'm never forgiving you. Ever." A tear rolled down my cheek. Today should have been a good day and now its just ruined. "I guess you've moved on already, how is Payton." He snarled sarcastically. "Shut up, you know I didn't do anything like that. Your the fuck up." I whined through my tears. "May as well have, he's always been all over you." He laughed. "Don't bring him into this." I shouted at the phone. "Why do you care so much Dais." I could see the sarcastic smirk on his face and it just made me more mad. "Because he's been there for me more then you ever have, I love him in ways I never loved you." I said trying to get to him. "Fuck you, that's not fair." He said. "Yes it is, you deserve it, you put me through hell." I got louder and louder with every word and more tears just fell down my heated cheeks. 

The door scraped open on the carpet and Pay was there holding two drinks and had a frown on his face. "You okay?" He asked, and I shook my head and pointed down at the phone. "He called you." He whispered a little too loudly. "I did, you got a problem." Anthony snarled. Payton walked over and grabbed the phone off the bed. He took it off speaker phone and held it to his ear. "I do have a problem, you an ass hole and you don't deserve her." The frown became more prominent on his face. "You know I wouldn't do that, and neither would she, she was falling in love with you and you ruined it." He added after a short pause. "Never call her again, and sort out those rumours you know its not true." He said and he hung up placing the phone down on the desk. "Did he call you?" He asked sternly sitting on the bottom of the bed facing away from me with his head rested in his hands. "I didn't know it was him, I answered before I looked." I said scooting down the bed sitting behind him with my legs either side of his. I snaked my hands round and wrapped them around his waist and I rested my head on his back. It was so comforting just being with him. "What did he want?" He said without reacting to the fact I was cuddling him right now, I knew he was mad because its not like him to be like this. "To say sorry, I just said no and told him I hated him. Thats when he got heated." I said softly still cuddled into his back. "Do you?" He asked as he looked over his shoulder. "Do I what?" I asked confused. "Hate him." He questioned. "I know hate is a strong word but after everything, yes I do." I said laying down pulling Pay back so he was laying on my stomach. "What about me?" He asked. "Do I hate you?" I said as I ran my fingers through his hair. He nodded his head in response. "Why would I hate you, if anything its the opposite." I smiled and I saw the smirk grow on his face too. "I guess I should tell you everything now huh?" I said looking up at the ceiling as I dreaded to tell him the truth, I was scared that he would think I was shallow or a bad person and that would kill me inside. "Only if you want to." He said softly as he moved to the side so he could face me.

I knew deep down it was better to tell him, I just didn't want to worst to happen. "I just have to say it, there's no other way." I said as I pushed my hair back out of my face anxiously. "When tour started everything fell apart for me. I lost Jaden, that killed me. Before I even really knew you, you were there for me you were my best friend and we literally just met." I started and he looked deeply into may eyes as he placed his hand on my thigh reassuring me it was okay to talk to him about this. "I used to think the reason why Jaden and I grew apart was because of Ant, but now that I no longer had him I can see I wasn't ever like that." I continued, "I never loved Anthony, nobody knows this but in the first week of tour when things were going bad with Jaden we nearly kissed, and that's what our relationship stemmed from. It was just lust Pay, with you it was so different." He looked at me with furrowed brows. "Me?" He questioned, I knew he kind of understood but he didn't know everything. "That night when I came to yours and Chase's room I had that argument with Jaden I was expecting Chase to answer the door and I was coming to the room just so I could be sad alone. Then you answered the door. You hugged me and made me feel like everything was all okay even though we hadn't even spoke before. You were there for me then and you still are now." I smiled through my water filled eyes. Happy tears though, to finally get it off my chest. "Then there was the night of the party at my apartment. That when things happened with Ant and I, but still that morning I woke up cuddling you. Everything all the time just pointed to you Pay. The whole time I was with him I just knew in my heart that it was wrong and in the back of my mind I knew it was you that I loved." I paused and just looked back at his face, into his eyes. He smiled as he ran his thumb over my lips. "Sorry." He mumbled awkwardly as he gestured me to continue. "This fell apart because I fell for you, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that I've been so blind and its been you all along. I love you Payton." I said as a smile just grew wider and wider on my face. "I've loved you since the day I met you, I was just too shy to say it, and then you turned up at my door." He smirked with a little laugh after he said it.  "Its so good to finally say it to you, and mean it.