Remember; You Have the Universe

[ 67 ]

I knock on
The Sisters' door
after school.
I think
Quiana has
some sort of
club after school,
so I don't
have to
face
them both.
I just want
to talk
about what went
sour between us.

Quinn tells me
to come in,
and I can't tell
if she's in
a good mood or
a bad one.
When she sees
it's me,
she's definitely not
leaping over
rainbows
and farting
unicorns.
Two cold, brown eyes
settle on
my face,
then flick to
the bunk bed,
where I see
Quiana perched,
posture now
vulture-like.

Fantastic.

"Can we talk?"
I ask,
remaining in the
doorway.

Quiana gives me
a curt shrug
while Quinn
studies me
silently.
I notice that
Quinn
has her hand
right around
that locket
from their
grandparents
and I pretend
it doesn't
matter to me
that I don't
have one.

I feel like I am
in court,
pleading for my
innocence.
I want to
back out
but it is
too late now.

I venture
further in and
stand against
a wall.
"Why do you
hate me?"

"I don't
hate you."
Quinn says,
her pencil still
poised,
trying to hide
surprise.
The Sisters
exchange a look.

"Yes, you do,"
I say.
"You guys
give me
these icy glares and
don't want me
to talk to
your family
and you
don't like it when
I hangout
with you."
I sound like
I'm being bullied by
a pre-teen and her
gum-smacking
comrade
and I feel
kind of
pathetic.

"When do you ever
want to
hangout with
us?"
Quiana's face crinkles
sourly.

"Like that time
I missed
the Color Fest
and we played
board games."
I don't mention that
the conversation
that night
was so stiff
I thought it would
snap if it
veered off our course of
polite
small talk and
pretending we
were a
blended family that
actually blended
instead of
blues and yellows
stretching away from
each other,
refusing to
morph into
green.

"You only
talk to us when
you can't be with
your friends.
And I didn't want
you to talk to
my grandma because
I was talking
to her.
She is my
grandma,
not yours.
You get
enough attention.
I wanted
to talk about
school and
musical theater.
Instead, Thanksgiving was
more of
taking care of my
sick step-sister."

"I tried to
avoid taking
her attention
from you,"
I defend.

"It didn't work."
Quiana steps in.

"I know,
because you
glared at me
from across the table
the entire time
she fussed over me."
I feel
at a loss for
a solution.

Quinn raises
her eyebrows.

"What's that
look for?"
I frown.

"Do I really
have to
explain again
why I was
upset about that?"
Her voice is
drenched in
sass.

"No."

Quiana turns up
her emotional thermostat and
thrusts her
team flag in the air,
declaring her
undying allegiance
to her
sister.
Funny how
they're always fighting with
each other unless
they're fighting against
me.