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Kjrsten
knows immediately
about Robby,
being that
she works with
the hospital.
She pulls me
out of
first period
two days after
Bea and I
hung out;
two days after
Robby's death.
She says
everyone in Group
is being
reached out to
today.
She says
his school is
dressing up and
sending cards to
his family.
She says
anything I am feeling
is normal and
valid and
acceptable.

The problem is
I just don't know
how I am
feeling.

I saw him—
I saw Robby—
just two days ago.
He talked about
how he's afraid of
what comes next.
And now he's
just
gone.
And the thing is,
it wasn't even
how we expected
he'd go.
It was an accident.
So sudden
and random
instead of a
drawn out
fading away.
Kjrsten asks me
if isn't it
a good thing that
he didn't
suffer as much,
and I say something
I don't think
I would have
said
a year ago.

"No.
Because he
could have had more
of life,
even if
it was
hard.
Now...
Robby has
nothing."

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