Sky Above Me, Earth Below Me

Chapter 64

Clark

I was sitting in the bathtub keeping my feet close to my body. I rest my head on my knees then tears began to spill. My heart couldn't take the pain i felt.. I felt ashamed for hurting Ali like that.. I felt ashamed for getting out of control. I want to bang my head on the wall and kill myself instead. I'd rather die than hurting the only family i have left. When they found us the commander immediately ran towards Ali's side. Her beautiful face showed fear as she saw her unconscious body and without hesitation she left in haste to aid her. I saw warriors dragged Jaha's unconscious body. Then i felt that warm presence that i used to love and longed for.. now.. She's suffocating me. "Clark.." she called my name. But i begged her to not come near me as I cried in pain, in guilt and the life i have now. But the stubborn Queen did not leave instead she moved closer and envelope me with that familiar arms. It felt like home..i was too weak to even protest and in the end i surrendered to her warmth.. For now.. I didn't know how long we stayed that way.. How long she kissed my head softly while caressing my back and whispering comforting words.Then i woke up in my familiar bed inside the Palace. I must have doze off due to emotional stress. I want to wash away the pain and the guilt if that even possible.. That's why I'm stucked here in the bathtub drowning my feelings. I felt warm soft fabric enclosing me. I opened my eyes and saw that forest green eyes looking at me with concern. "i knocked and called but you didn't answer.. I started to get worry so I barged in.. I'm sorry I know I'm the last person you want to see right now.." She said explaining but I was lost in her eyes just like before. "Lexa.." i cut her off then she was startled to hear her name from me. "Where's Ali?" i asked. She looked down then back at me "She's taken to the infirmary you can visit her soon when you regain your strength also.." she answered.. "I'm a monster aren't I?" i said in teary eyes. "what? No.. No Clark.. You're far from that.. You're just in pain and angry for the realization of this all..you didn't expect this to happen.. Its natural to react like that to the person who wiped out your family." she said while caressing my face whipping the tears escaped from my eyes. Her green eyes are filled with concern." but I almost killed Ali.. "i said then i broke down in tears. She immediately hugged me and i hugged her back.. I didn't even care that I'm naked beneath this heavy soft towel. And she didn't even care that her gown will get wet because of me. Later on i felt her moved and slowly carried me out of the bathtub. She carefully covered my naked body. She transferred me on the lavatory letting me sit on the sink. As she carefully dry my body and my hair using the towel. What amazed me though is that even if i hated her for a long time I didn't feel uncomfortable when she touched me like this. In fact it was the other way around. She moved away and I immediately missed her touch and warmth. She came back with a night gown and she gently dressed me with it. She carried me towards the bed and like a fragile doll she carefully put me down. She was about to move away but i stopped her by grabbing her arm. I didn't know why but those three words came out of my mouth without hesitation "Stay with me.." The Queen looked at me intently like she was debating in her mind if staying is a good idea. I didn't let her decide for i already pulled her making her lie down beside me and in instinct i rest my head on her shoulders. I felt her body stiffened due to our sudden contact but later on she relaxed and caged me with her warm arms. I sighed in relief and was satisfied with the silence. I just listened to the beat of her heart slowly sending me to sleep but before my mind completely shuts down i heard the Queen whispered. "I will always be with you.." then softly kissed my forehead. I tried stay awake but my body was too exhausted from all of that crying and emotional stress. I know this is too good to be true being with her.. I know after this.. after we go out in this four corners of the room we will fall back to that same phase over and over again.. I her subject and her my ruler.. nothing more..

Octavia

"The Queen erased our memories to save our lives.. The ice Queen was planning to take over the throne at that time and if she indeed took the throne all of us would be whipped out. She protected us Octavia at first i really hated her guts but now i know that her sacrifices would turn out this way for us to live peacefully along with the grounders then i couldn't have it in any other way.. "Raven explained to me how she confronted the Queen. I just nod then continued to put away my armor." Why aren't you shock? Or say something at least? " Raven said with confusion written all over her beautiful face." because love.. Since i became a warrior the Queen earned my respect and loyalty. I've seen her in close battles and how she look after this kingdom. Whatever decisions she made at that time I know it was hard for her.. She's willing to sacrifice her life for her people and for this kingdom. That's why it doesn't matter anymore if she chose to erased our memories because i knew she will decide not for her own benefit but for the greater good. " i said to her then kissed her on the cheeks and left her with an opened mouth." I love you.. "i heard her said it. I turned around and said" I know"then winked at her before leaving. I heard her shouted "You should say i love you too!!!!" and i can't helped but smile. Years have passed and i never thought we end up like this. I used to hate the grounders now i became one of them and even served the Queen. My best friend became my lover and everything just fall back to its perfect places except for our princess who still seemed lost.. And the Queen who still remained stoic and cold. It would be so perfect if the Queen end up with our Princess. I mean i could see how they look at one another, the attraction is there but why can't one of them make a move. Its so frustrating..

Clark

Rays of the sun seeping through the curtains woke me up in my deep sleep. I haven't slept so peacefully like that ever since i lost my home. I remembered those green pools which made me turned to her direction but was met with sheets and pillows. I sighed deeply and hugged the pillow she used. Her scent still lingers on it. I was initially disappointed for not able to see her beside me but half of me already knew that this was going to happen just like before.. I remembered i waited for her till morning but even her shadows never came.. I stood up and went to the bathroom when I felt a pull calling me. I immediately grabbed a gown and wore it. My hair is still dripping wet and i didn't even wore any shoes. I levitated and followed the pull. It seems my people summoned me. And i know what that means.