Only Human | Sander Sides

Safe To Cry~Roceit

INFO
-requested by SinglePringlePatton 
-unsymp patton 
-symp deceit 
-religious wording 

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-unsymp patton
-symp deceit
-religious wording 

***

"I thought you fought for honor!" These were the words playing over and over in Roman's head. He does fight for honor! He always tries to do the best for Thomas. He tries again and again to help Thomas. Memorize those lines, write that script, act like good creativity that Patton loves so much. He tries but he fails. He is useless. Roman curls up into a ball on his bed. Useless. Useless. There is movement somewhere in his room but he doesn't care anymore. He just wants to cry. Tears stream down his face, heavy, and violent sobs escape his mouth. Someone places a hand on his back and rubs it as Roman keeps sobbing. He doesn't know who it is but they're a big comfort. He leans into the touch but doesn't make a move to look at the person. He can tell though, it isn't Patton. Patton wouldn't care. "You're a man." He would say. "You shouldn't cry." Roman is grateful for whoever this mystery person is. 

Roman doesn't know when he fell asleep but when he woke up, he no longer felt the warm comforting hand. "Shit, I slept for too long." "Language, kiddo." Roman snaps his head towards Patton's voice to see him leaning against a wall. "Sorry Patton." Roman notices Patton's expression, happy and smiling as usual but it's more cold now. What did I do? Roman tenses as Patton speaks, "Can you tell me why Deceit was in here earlier kiddo?" Deceit? That must have been the hand Roman felt but... why would Deceit help him? "I dunno Pat. Maybe I forgot I took his hat again and he came to take it back." Patton gave him a look of doubt but turned around to leave, "Don't let that snake in our garden of Eden again." "Yes, Patton." 

Roman sits on his bed, thinking. Why did Deceit help him? Why did he stick around after Roman fell asleep? He gets up and dresses into his usual princely attire. He's going to find out why. He searches Thomas' mind for that one place, that dark corner where he knows his brother and Deceit reside. He sinks down, then up, into the Subconscious. "Deceit?" He calls, wandering around. "Deceit!" "How terrible it is to see you, Roman." Roman turns around to see Deceit leaning against the couch, fiddling with his gloves. Roman takes a step forward, "Why did you help me? You know Patton doesn't like it when you're around. Why risk yourself?" Deceit stares at the floor, "I know. How it feels being told you're useless. Being guilt-tripped. Crying but having no one there to comfort you. I know." 

Roman walks the rest of the way up to Deceit and places a hand on his shoulder. "Thank you. So much." Deceit wraps his arms around Roman's torso, "I'm sorry. I wish I could do more. I know how Patton is but I haven't done anything." Roman hugs Deceit back, rubbing firm circles in his shoulderblade, "You do what you can. You're helping." "So are you. The only reason it feels like you're not getting anywhere is that Patton is undermining you. You do so much for Thomas. So much." In the darkness of the Subconscious, quietly even though no one could hear, the two cried. They cried into each others arms, finally safe from judgment, even for only a short amount of time before Patton finds one of them. Safe. They feel safe with each other.