Only Human | Sander Sides

Pirate AU

INFO
-requested by tumblr user
-the twins are co-captains!
-no ships

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-violence and killing 
-ship sinking

***

Captain Remus smiles a devious smile as he sets his eyes on a nearby ship. It's a mercenary ship headed straight for them. He nudges his twin's shoulders and Captain Roman follows his gaze, "Oh, damn. I'll go tell Virgil to start loading the canons." Remus starts shouting orders to the crewman as Roman goes belowdecks to the kitchen where the lanky gunner usually hangs out with the chef. "Captain! Lovely to see you!" Patton, the chef, greets him with a smile, which he returns. Virgil nods and Roman gives him the news, "There's a mercenary ship ahead, we need you to ready the canons." Virgil groans and tells Patton to stay safe before following Roman abovedeck and jogging to a nearby canon. Roman looks around for his quartermaster and sighs, seeing he's not there. He goes to the captain's quarters, knowing the snake likes hiding there. 

Opening the door, Roman gets hissed at. He snaps a shush and delivers the news, "Mercenary ship, get on deck and be ready to command when Remus and I board the ship." Another groan and the cold quartermaster Deceit unwraps himself from the warm furs and follows Roman out. Deceit starts giving out orders as Roman walks up the stairs to Remus and the sailing master Logan, "Everyone's ready." Remus' devious smile grows as he tells Logan, "Go full speed and line us up to jump on. "I trust you won't swing from the ropes this time?" Logan asks as he turns the wheel. The ship is closer now and Roman and Remus wait on the port side. In no time, the two decks are almost touching. Remus jumps onto the enemy ship with his mace drawn, closely followed by Roman and his sword. Remus laughs maniacally as he swings around his mace, the ship rocking with the cannons fired from either ship. 

Roman weaves his way through the opposing crew, occasionally swinging his sword, and gets to the captain's quarters. He kicks open the locked door and points his sword at the cowardly captain. "My good sir, where do you keep your gold?" The captain points a shaky hand at the ornate wooden box and Roman thanks him and takes the box, sword point never leaving the other captain's chin. "Tell the king I said hello!" He calls before leaving the room and running back to his own ship with the box. He finds Virgil loading another canon and stops him, "Remus is almost done and the boat is sinking, take this to Deceit." He hands the box over and Virgil runs over to Deceit and Roman runs back onto the other ship, slashing with his sword. 

Remus makes his way over and the twin captains clear the deck, back to back. The few crew members that surrendered are taken by Deceit and the twins go into their quarters. Remus swings up to the top hammock and Roman sits on the bottom one, grabbing the box. He opens it to count the gold and is pleased to see the box is full. "I'll have Logan count this at dinner tonight. Let's have Patton make a feast." Remus grins, "Sounds wonderful! Make sure he saves the lime rinds this time!" Roman wrinkles his nose at his brother's disgusting idea of a snack. Deceit comes in without knocking, "The ship sank, the surrenders are in the brig, and Virgil is done shaking." Remus shouts, "Tell Patton to make a feast!" Deceit rolls his eyes, "You're lucky Logan knows a nearby pirate-friendly supply island. Fine." Deceit turns to leave and Remus shouts again, "Tell him to save the lime rinds!" "Yeah!" 

The crew sang shanties, much to Logan's dismay, until midnight. Patton makes a big meal with what food they had left and called the captains, Logan, Virgil, and Deceit down to eat. Remus gives the gold to Logan to count. Logan counts quickly, "This is 400 gold pieces." The group cheers and Roman triumphantly says, "And we took almost no damage from the ship! The Mindscape still sails!" More cheering ensues and they dig into the amazing meal Patton made, complimenting his cooking. "Just be sure to replenish our supplies tomorrow!"