Only Human | Sander Sides

Art Is Dead~Logince Angst

INFO
-im having some bad writers block, so the requests are taking longer than expected. take this draft as an apology!
-its angsty tho. be warned. 
-also really rambly

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-logan and roman fighting, insulting each other
-self hatred! Fun!

***

Art is dead
Art is dead
Art is dead
Art is dead

Logan's fists balled up as Roman told him to shut up once again, with another stupid nickname. 

"Entertainers like to seem complicated
But we're not complicated
I can explain it pretty easily,"

Logan tries to calmly explain, he tries. He doesn't raise his voice but Roman does, Roman gets LOUD and Logan has to bite his tongue to hold back a shout in return. 

Have you ever been to a birthday
Party for children?
And one of the children
Won't stop screaming
'Cause he's "just a little
Attention attractor"

Logan hadn't even realized the insult slip past his lips until a look of shock and hurt crept onto Roman's face. It's too late now, and Logan keeps going with his outburst,

When he grows up
To be a comic or actor
He'll be rewarded
For "never maturing
For never under-
Standing or learning

That every day
Can't be about him 
There's other people
You selfish asshole," 

Tears streaming down both boys' faces now, this outburst is getting out of hand. Logan isn't meaning to insult Roman, oh no, if anything he's berating himself too, not just Roman. Attention seekers, both of them, and Roman knows it.

"I must be psychotic
I must be demented
To think that I'm worthy
Of all this attention,"

Roman shoots back, tears blurring his vision of Logan who's so tense, he's so tense and angry and sad and it's Roman's fault he knows it, Logan hates him and he hates Logan and Logan hates himself and Roman hates himself, oh god Thomas hates himself.

Of all of this money, you worked really hard for
I slept in late while you worked at the drug store
"My drug's attention, I am an addict
But I get paid to indulge in my habit"
It's all an illusion, I'm wearing make-up, I'm wearing make-up
Make-up, make-up, make-up, make...

Roman and Logan have the same sentiment but the differences are obvious, Roman is screaming as usual desperately trying to be seen and heard and focused on and Logan is quiet, he's oh so quiet, so used to being ignored that he's learned to bottle everything up until it bursts out in a fit of anger and he hurts someone he doesn't want to hurt anyone.

Art is dead
So people think you're funny, how do we get those people's money
I said art is dead
We're rolling in dough, while Carlin rolls in his grave
His grave, his grave

The show has got a budget
The show has got a budget
And all the poor people way more deserving of the money
Won't budge it

'Cause I wanted my name in lights
When I could have fed a family of four
For forty fucking fortnights
Forty fucking fortnights

"I am an artist, please God forgive me
I am an artist, please don't revere me
I am an artist, please don't respect me
I am an artist, you're free to correct me

A self-centered artist
Self-obsessed artist
I am an artist
I am an artist

But I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
I'm just a kid
Kid
And maybe I'll grow out of it"

One last jab at each other and themselves and that's it. The tears stop streaming, leaving them dehydrated, their voices die out leaving their throats sore, and their hearts bleed out leaving them vulnerable. The room is filled with self-hatred and before either of them could be comforted, they sink out. They'll bottle it up again, they always do. Roman will go back to screaming for attention and Logan will go back to quietly hoping for it and neither of them will address it properly because they no longer know how to.