Only Human | Sander Sides

Romantic~Intruloceit

INFO
-happy valentine's day! 
-let remus be soft you cowards

TRIGGER WARNINGS
-accidental impalement 
-untrained heart surgery 
-gore 

***

Remus had never been the romantic one. That had always been his brother's job. He was more of the flirt-then-fuck kind of guy. Now that he's actually trying to be romantic, he knows how hard it is. All Remus wants to do is plan a nice Valentine's day surprise for his boyfriends, but fuck if he knows what to get them. He wants to refrain from weird or gross presents but that's all he can come up with. Sighing, he decides its time to ask for help. He sinks down and directs his thought to his brother and pops up in front of him. "Brother stupidest-" "Remus! I stabbed you!" Remus stops and looks down towards his abdomen, where Roman's sword has gone through him. "Oh don't worry I can't feel it," Remus says with a smile as he faints. A few seconds later, he's awake and the sword wound is closed up. 

"Anyway Lettuce, I need some help." Roman frowns as he dips his sword into a bucket of water, "What would you need my help with?" "Valentine's Day is coming and I want to make something cute for Double Dee and Logi," Remus sits in the mud and draws as he speaks, "But all I can think of are gross ones." Roman wipes his sword with a cloth and sends it to his room, "Why would you ask me for help? I have no clue what Logan likes, and all I know about Deceit is that he likes a good performance. Just give them your heart or something, or some nerdy play." Remus jumps up with a smile, "I got it! Thanks, Fallen Empire." Remus sinks out of Roman's side of the imagination, leaving behind portraits of Logan and Deceit. 

Back in his room, Remus starts writing and drawing furiously on a piece of paper, occasionally referencing things on his laptop. Once he's done writing, he hides it and thinks of Logan. Logan answers the call and rises up in Remus' room, "What do you need stardust?" Remus smiles at Logan's nickname, "I need some help with a project. How many surgical books have you read?" Logan raises an eyebrow, "A few, why?" Remus summons a surgical table and hops on, "I need to remove my heart. Twice." Logan fails to suppress a grin as Remus summons up a mask, gloves, and the tools needed. Logan puts them on and Remus lays down, "Don't worry about hurting or killing me. I can't feel it and I respawn." Logan gets to work as Remus watches, interested. When Logan cuts the first artery, Remus faints. He wakes up a moment later after his chest is sewed back up. They go through the procedure one more time to get two hearts. 

Logan removes the gloves and mask, "Whatever you're using those hearts for Remus, be careful with them." He kisses Remus' forehead before sinking down and leaving. Remus giggles and continues his project. An hour or so later, Remus calls Logan and Deceit to the theater. They give him a questioning look and Remus explains, "I wrote a play, just for you two." They sit and Remus hands them boxes, "Don't open them until after the play." Logan already knows what is in the box (he thinks) but agrees anyway. Remus goes up on stage and summons a few things before starting. The play is an hour long and about a combination of different interests, woven together somehow coherently. Logan and Deceit watch, interested, the entire time, which boosts Remus confidence. He even gets Logan to laugh, which paused the performance momentarily so Remus and Deceit could adore Logan. 

After the play ends, little confetti canons go off, filled with actual confetti in green, blue, and yellow. Remus claps excitedly, "Open your presents!" Logan and Deceit praise the performance as they carefully open the boxes. Logan was right about one thing, the boxes had Remus' hearts in them. But they also contained peppermints (Logan's favorite candy), different flavored jelly beans (Deceit's favorite candy), and cards. When opened, the cards read, "Thank you for being here with me." Below the text are little drawings of the three of them, holding hands and smiling. Remus claps, "I hope you like them. Logan's smile was the hardest to draw because he doesn't that often, but I got a picture of it to use as a reference, thank you, Dee." Logan laughs and kisses both of them, "I love it, Remus." "As do I." Remus melts as they continue praising him. Maybe sometimes, he can be romantic too.