Closeted (BoyxBoy) [2014 Edition]

37: The Beginning of the End - Part III - Liam

Graduation day.

The day every student, no matter what grade level they're enrolled in, dream of. The day that so many work toward, and the day that so many actually dread.

I somehow, fit all the categories.

I've worked my ass off to get to this point. I've racked up numerous incredible accolades, and I've procured full ride scholarships to almost every college I've applied to! I'm living the dream of all students alive right now!

But I also fear the future. It's uncertain, unclear, and fucking scary. Things change in the blink of an eye and everything you thought was going to happen...

Doesn't.

I looked over myself, standing in my bedroom dressed in my gold graduation gown, underneath was a white dress shirt and a black tie. The usual getup for these events. I looked okay, especially for a boy who had his heart crushed a couple of days ago by his true love.

Yeah, I considered Gabriel my true love. We've been through so much shit just to get together, to get to a point where we're happy with each other, yet he breaks up with me. Over text. Just a few days before graduation. I still remember the text. Word for word. And I only read it once.

Dear Liam,

You're forever going to fucking hate me for doing this, but I felt like this was the only way I could tell you how I feel without being swayed by you. Everything about you, is absolutely perfect. You're the smartest, sweetest, kindest, most genuine, and handsome man to ever walk into my life. I never thought that nine months ago, when I saw you driving that busted ass scooter, that I would fall head over heels in love with you. I never thought that I would forsake my popularity, my best friends, everything, just for a boy that I loved. I never thought that I would gain the courage to truly be myself. I wouldn't have the life I'm happy to live now, if it weren't for you, Liam Andrew Jenkins. And because you gave me so much courage and happiness to be myself, I'm now strong enough to say that I will be leaving California and everything behind. I know you're probably confused as to why this is so sudden, but I don't belong here any longer. I need to go out in the world and find my place. And so do you, Liam. You're such an incredible guy and I would never forgive myself if I allowed you to stay with someone as fucked up as me. So I want you to go, be free, and be happy. Be the Liam you've always wanted to be. Without feeling like you have to be something for anyone else. I won't be at graduation, but I've pulled a few strings for you. Consider this my last act as your boyfriend. I love you so much, Liam Andrew Jenkins. And I think I will until the end of time. Maybe one day we can meet again, maybe one day. But until then, I'll always have you in my heart. And I'll always be in yours. Enjoy your life, Liam. Be happy. Be you.

Love, Forever and Always,
Gabe.

Just thinking about it made me start bawling all over again. I've tried sending hundreds of fucking replies back to him, but they've all bounced back. The number... didn't exist anymore. Just like my relationship with Gabe. It didn't exist anymore. And I hated his stinking guts for it.

How dare he say stuff like that to me! We were supposed to be together! We honestly never talked about our future, but we knew we would be together in the end.

We were supposed to be together. Forever.

~

After finally composing myself, I received a text from Holly saying she was on her way to pick me up for the graduation ceremony. You can imagine my disappointment when I saw the name on the sender. It wasn't who I wanted it to be, it honestly didn't even matter anymore.

I have half a mind not to walk across the stage. To just have them mail my diploma to my parents. It'll mean much more to them than it does to me right now.