Never again (Quinntana)

Chapter 1 - Santana

Santana was lying on her bed, staring at the blank ceiling as music blared through the speakers. She refused to think about anything.

Because, really, there was nothing to think about. Ever since she had lost her one and only friend, she had managed to turn her own life into a living hell.

Sure, she was popular. She was a cheerleader, after all.

She also had all of the so-called perks of popularity, such as fake-ass friends, an assigned table in the lunch room, and stupid guys dying to be with her.

But the truth was that Santana had never felt lonelier. Or worse about herself.

Proof was, that there she lay, on the last day of summer, dark thoughts nagging her as everyone else was out partying. And deep down, she knew that nobody missed her.

Of course, she had been invited to every party. People were dying to be in her presence. They envied her. They feared her. Some even lusted over her.

But nobody really liked her.

Santana had made sure of that. She had pushed everyone away, until she was certain that she could never get attached again.

Never get hurt again.

One time had been bad enough.

Just thinking about it made her mood drop even further.

One more day, she thought. One more day, and I can get back to school. One more day, and I can get back to being busy enough that I don't have to think about her. Just one day. I can do it. Just don't think about her, Santana. DON'T think about her.

Of course, that didn't work. Santana wasn't expecting it to, either. She had gotten used to the pain. Used to the guilt. Used to the ball that wouldn't leave her throat.

And like every night since Lucy had left, Santana drifted off to sleep wondering how she could have made her stay.