Living the Now

Chapter 12

Daryan's POV

I was sitting in my office then realized how close Christmas really was it's already December 8th.

Me and Tyler have had so much going on we haven't even started Christmas shopping. Hopefully Kai will be out of hospital for Christmas.

I sighed knowing I'll have to figure out how to do Christmas by myself mostly this year because Tyler will be in the hospital with Kai.

Carter's POV

Dad gave me a journal he said was papa's. Apparently papa used to keep one as well as dad but stopped right before I was adopted so it goes a lot longer.

I opened it to the first page.

February 27 2014

I don't understand why he is such a bitch why can't I just be me without getting all the judgement in the world?

I guess coming out wasn't the best idea, I mean bi is better then gay isn't it? I'm really only bi because I still have feelings for Katie if I didn't I would probably be totally gay.

This is the worst day of my life

Daryan

Wow I didn't realize him and dad knew each other that long this was a little under a year before Dad came out so that means papa came out at 13.

January 13th 2015

I don't know how much longer I can hold on. Onto a world that is just crumbling more and more every day first Tyler dies, Katie is being more and more distant, and the constant verbal abuse from my dad is getting out of hand.

The only reason I hold on is with hope Katie will open up to me or break her cycle of being so distant and let me help. I want her to let me into the wall she's build around herself lately. I'm her best friend and I should be there for her.

Daryan

How long did he know dad? It must of been long if they were best friends before they dated and they must have had a good connection to keep their relationship alive if they were best friends before that.

January 20th 2015

I finally understand why Katie- er Tyler has been so distant lately. He needed someone to help him come out yet I wasn't there for he-him I feel like a horrible best friend.

I understand why he didn't want to tell me tho I tell him everything and he knows about my home troubles and how much I struggled with losing Tyler only a week ago.

I don't know how to help him I still have feeling for him after all these years and this makes it so much different yet I want to be there for him when he needs me.

Daryan

This journal is something way more than dad's it has a lot more detail and emotions you can see the spots where tears hit when Papa was crying while he wrote.

I pulled out dad's journal and turned to the same date as Papa's.

January 20th 2015

This has been an amazing but hard day to deal with.

I came out to my friends and they were all so amazing about it. But it's been a week a week since I lost my best friend it's only getting harder.

I can't fake a smile any longer the grief is too much for me right now. There is no possible way I can go to Daryan's anymore either. I can't make things worse for him.