Best Friends With Benefits & After The Benefits End

After The Benefits End - Part 24

*Liv’s POV*

“I’m gona let you get some rest ; I’ll come back in the morning. Think you might be able to come home.” Evie smiled, stroking my hair.

“Okay Evie.” I reply

“We’ll come see you in the morning...okay .”

“Thanks Luke.” I smile turning towards them

I watched them leave before crying to myself...I’d lost my baby. What kind of person doesn’t realise that they’ve missed their period?

How could I be so stupid as not to follow my calendar? Then again me and Dan never use protection when we were 'together', knowing I'm not on the pill or contraception either. I was just asking to get pregnant. 

I still couldn't believe this was happening, I know I said wanted to be pregnant so that Dan would show me attention not Amy and that I could give him a child not her. I got my wish, but without knowing it Amy took that from me too. My boyfriend and my baby. 

I heard the door open and I pretended to be asleep, I wasn't in the mood to talk with the nurse about what would happen next or my feelings. They were my feelings, private feelings and I didn't fancy sharing them with a stranger. 

But as soon as the door opened, I could sense it wasn't the nurse...it was Dan. I didn't want to speak to him either. He was pottering around for a minute or two, then I smelt fresh lilies. He brought me flowers, he always knew I liked them...least I hope he did? I wanted to question everything now, did he actually know me at all? I was still so mad at him for all of this, why didn't he just believe me when I told him that she was lying...that she wasn't pregnant...I was! I was pregnant! I think that that’s what is making it ten times harder for me to even consider forgiving him. Because of last night, because of what happened, we lost our baby. 

Dan began humming along to the radio that was quietly playing in my room to stop me going crazy in the silence of my thoughts. I loved this song, definitely my favourite song from Boyzone. But the lyrics made me think of me and Dan. He sat down on the bed and began singing them to me...fuck me...He was singing. In all the twenty years I'd known him, I'd never heard him sing...not even in the shower…karaoke was different though. No one ever sang properly on karaoke. 

His voice was beautiful, angelic even. He softy sang to me the wonderful words of this song and I had to hold in my tears so bad. I didn't want him to know I was awake. 

As the song finished, I heard him sniff. I guess he'd gotten emotional as well. I felt him gently move some of my hair behind my ear as he whispered. “I’m so sorry baby girl.”

His thumb stroking my cheek continuously as he spoke.

“Why didn’t I just trust my instinct...that you were telling me the truth. I think I always knew it deep down that she was lying…but the thought of becoming a dad excited me the more I thought about it. I know I said I wasn’t ready, especially when we had our scare but I guess I am. So hopefully, you can find it in your gorgeous heart to forgive me and one day we can be excited about our own baby news....I honestly don’t know what I’ll do without you by my side. You are my best friend Tink...you know everything about me. But not only that you are my soul mate and I gave you that ring as a promise to never hurt you but I guess I’ve broken that. Tink believe me...I never meant to hurt you. When I saw you fall down those stairs and the blood on my hand from the cut on your head. I thought I’d lost you, that you’d been taken away from me. That nearly killed me , the thought of not seeing you every day. I just hope when you come home...we can talk and try and work things out. I’ll love you forever , never forget that.”