Teasing Your Wicked Heart

CHAPTER 33

Anthony hadn't meant the last word of his declaration to sound so... off. He wanted her to relent to him badly, but he was also guarding his own heart.

If she refused him, she should do so not because she was angry, but because she did not want him at all.

The very thought of its possibility almost made Anthony abandon his plans and leave her alone. Is it worth it to risk himself like this? Would it be easier to live with what could have been than to endure her choice of not including  him?

But the promise of what was to come if she said yes was breathtakingly irresistible.

Charlotte was right. No one could ever know the state of things if one doesn't ask, and yet even with this truth, Anthony could feel his mouth going dry.

"I..."

He stopped and looked for something to hold on to in case she rejects him. Anthony could not pretend to be strong any longer. He was very close to begging, and he hadn't even gotten around asking.

"What is it, Anthony?" She asked, her eyes filled with mistrust that made his heart ache.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, was all he wanted to say, but no words came out.

In their prolonged silence, she relaxed, but maintained an impassive stare as he stood by the foot of the bed. "Whatever you are about to say, please, I beg of you, do not break me any further. I don't know how much more I could take."

"I apologize." He muttered quickly, resisting the way his knees wanted to buckle. "I had not meant to keep the information from you. I did not realize that I would hurt you by doing exactly what we thought you wanted."

His hands shook, his heart bearing itself through his eyes. "Please don't leave me. I can't bear it." His eyes stared at her rosy mouth as it parted and took hurried breaths as she calmed her emotions.

"There were many things, many secrets left unshared. And then it was too late because I only wanted you. I wanted you so much it kept me awake at night. It hurt, Sarah, it hurt very badly. I wanted to kiss you, to ravish you, and then I wanted to stare at you, touch your hair..."

He closed his eyes, swallowing convulsively.

When his eyes opened, they were bloodshot, blue cobalt stones staring with an intense emotion that has yet to be discovered. "I did not betray you. I held the information because I want you for myself. I could not bear the thought of you being taken from me. I wanted... I want... I want too much."

He exhaled loudly, suddenly unable to settle his heart as his eyes searched her room.

Suddenly, his eyes found a curious-looking pillow that had a swirly embroidery that could not be the work of anyone older than six.

Sarah Jane followed his gaze to the pillow she practiced her embroidery on. It had many different stitches of his name, Anthony, Killsworth... the biggest one being, My lord Killsworth.

Embarrassed, she stretched over the bed, flipping the pillow over to cover the evidence of her heart.

Emboldened and filled with hope, Anthony tried again.

"I want you to be mine."

His gaze was focused on her now, piercing blue eyes digging through her soul. The ring in his pocket bearing its weight heavier than what he had purchased.

She watched him, her heart jumped for joy as her mind kept silent and distrustful. For how long he stood there waiting and hoping for her positive response, he didn't know, but it felt like an eternity.