Doctor Who ~ Thasmin oneshots

Feelings and Secrets

In all her years of Life, out of all the lives she'd lived, the doctor had never been so nervous. Her, Graham, Ryan and Yaz were taking the Tardis for a spin, but she was keeping a secret to herself and was worried how long she could hold it.

She was in love with Yaz.

She knew it since she first lied eyes on Yaz, her beautiful brown eyes, charming smile and lovely white teeth, her thrilling personality and cracking sense of humour. She loved everything about her, and keeping up this friendly persona wasn't doing the doctor any good. She wanted so bad to hold Yaz in her arms, to kiss her, to run her hands through her hair. But she didn't know if she felt the same.

The doctor promised herself she would admit to Yaz how she felt, to just bite the bullet and deal with the consequences, but she couldn't help fear what the other members of the fam would think. What if they all hated her? What if they all left her? Never wanted to see her again? What if-

"Doc?" It was Ryan. The doctor shook her head and came back to reality, finding his fingers clicking in front of her face. She must've been zoned out since all of her friends were looking at her. "Oh, yeah sorry, zoned out, happens a lot." She smiled and got up, pretending to play with some levers on the Tardis keyboard to keep her mind off of her thoughts.

She glanced over her shoulder and met eyes with Yaz, who was lent on a wall behind her. The doctor felt herself staring but couldn't stop herself, a blush rising to her cheeks. She snapped her head back around to face the keyboard, flustered and smiling like an idiot. She had to stop this. She had to get over this. If she couldn't confess to loving Yaz, she'd have to give up and move on quickly and quietly.

"So fam, where're we going today?" The doctor asked, earning some hums from the people behind her. "You promised to take me to see Elvis like, a week ago." Graham moaned, crossing his arms over his chest. Ryan scoffed. "Nah, I recon we should go see the Glob trotters first win, the recording didn't do it justice." He smiled, pleased with himself but not earning many hands. Yaz looked deep in thought.

"Yaz? Any suggestions?" The doctor asked, feeling a tremor in her voice due to fear that the blush hadn't fully faded. Yaz looked up and smirked. She had to admit she'd fallen hard for the space Alien, harder than she'd care to admit. Every time she smiled or spoke her heart went wild, and her goofy grin and chaotic energy sent her stomach flipping. She loved her to bits, but she didn't want to ruin their friendship by overstepping boundaries. She still didn't know if the doctor was into women, and she still hadn't grasped the idea herself.

"How about...." she swayed closer to the doctor. "The Japanese blossom gardens? They're long gone now, but years ago they were flourishing. I always wanted to go there with my pa-" she stopped herself from saying partner, as she was too close to the doctor for that to give nothing away. "Family- I always wanted to go there with my family, and you guys are close enough." She smiled as she saw the faces of the rest of the fam perk. So she had the winning idea.

She looked at the doctor, who's face looked red as a tomato, mouth hanging open and eyes set on her. She looked flustered, but yet so so beautiful. "Yeah- yes that sounds like an amazing plan, we all down for that?" The doctor forced herself to look away and turn to Ryan and Graham, who nodded. They knew about the two girls, it seemed obvious enough to them that they liked each other. This was what they needed.

"Okay, blossom garden here we come!" She chirped, punching in the codes before pulling the lever.

As they stepped out of the Tardis, none of them had any words to say. It was beautiful, stunning, gorgeous, the prettiest thing they'd all seen before. They'd gone back to a day so early they were completely untouched by humans, it was just the fam alone. The doctor felt a warm hand take her own, and she looked to find Yaz holding it. She had a look of determination on her face, and a hint of- blush?

"Can I talk to you?" She asked, looking back at the two boys smirking back at them. "Over there? Alone?" The doctor didn't know what was going on, but she nodded. "Yeah, course. Be back in a minute you two." She said, letting Yaz lead her off towards the lake. They found a spot and sat down near the water, the doctor leaning towards the pond and squeaking at some ducklings. Yaz took a deep breath, shivering all over.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" The blonde asked innocently, feeling her heart suddenly swell as she saw Yazs uncertain face looking down at her. "Yeah, uhm.." Yaz rubbed the back of her neck, sighing hard. How to put this. The doctor was nervous again. Was she going to tell her to knock it off? Did she know about her crush? Was she about to reject her before she'd even said anything?

"Doctor I-" she clenched her eyes, waiting for the sentence to end one way or another. Waiting for Yaz to leave her. "I like you- I like you a lot." The doctor opened her eyes, staring up at the brunette, who's face was flushed red. "You- you like me? Like as a friend?" She felt strange, liek this was all a dream, like any moment she would wake up and this would all be over. Yaz giggled, putting a hand over the doctor's. "No- well yeah but, I like you as more than a friend."

The doctor couldn't help the smile that slid onto her lips, already feeling the heat rushing to her cheeks. "Do you really? Like seriously?" She could cry, but she wouldn't. Yaz looked away shyly. "Yeah. How does, that make you feel?" She asked, nervous for her answer. She really didn't want to loose the doctor, she never wanted her to leave. She was afraid if she didn't like this, she would drop her home and she'd never see her again. She couldn't even imagine...

"Brilliant!" The doctor squeaked, hands grilling onto Yazs. "Brilliant because, well coz I really like ya too! Like really really!" She was smiling so wide her cheeks hurt, her hearts were beating millions of miles per hour, her stomach in knots. She was so happy. Yaz melted into the biggest smile she could pull, wrapping her arms around the doctor and burring her face in her neck. The doctor hugged back, pushing her away and kissing her.

She'd waited so long for this, and the moment was absolutely perfect. She wished she could stay here forever, in Yaz's warm arms. Yaz didn't know how her family would take it, her loving a woman, but she didn't care, she didn't care at all. She had the doctor, she was hers now, and nothing could take her away.

Everything was perfect, and neither of them could wait for the adventures yet to come.