Doctor Who ~ Thasmin oneshots

Watching over you

"This can't be happening, not now." The doctor muttered to herself, still pacing the Jadoon prison she'd been locked in hours before. Her feet ached from stomping on the stone floor, but her brain was racing so fast she couldn't stop. Her thoughts were miles ahead of her, constantly playing back over all the new information she now possessed and adding to the stress she was already feeling.

Not only was she 'the timeless child', a myth told to young time-lords as a bedtime story, not only had she lived multiple lives she couldn't remember, not only had she been captured by the Jadoon for no reason she could think of- but her best friends in the whole world probably thought she was dead. Her body tensed at the thought of them grieving over her, admiring her sacrifice and living their lives thinking she had died fighting the master.

Even though all the new information she'd been plagued with due to the master had hurt the doctor, confused her to no end and left her questioning her very existence, the only thing eating her up inside was the image of Yaz, crying and alone over her lost friend. She cringed and stopped pacing, leaning her head on the wall and groaning as that suddenly became all she could think about. Yaz.

She replayed that moment in the Tardis, right before she left thinking that would be the last she would ever see of Yazmin Khan. How long she spent staring into her desperate eyes, longing to reach forward and kiss her, to tell her she was going to be alright, but she didn't. She couldn't bring herself to. Her own words burned in the back of her mind, the last thing she said to the woman she would give the world for.

"Get off me Yaz! Please.."

The doctor pressed her back to the cold stone wall, sliding down it slowly and running a hand through her hair in distress. Normally, she'd have a solution to any situation she was stuck in. Whether it took 2 minutes, or 2 hours, she'd always find her way out, because she was the doctor. But this felt strangely real. Like maybe, this time she really was stuck. For good. She was in the middle of the universe, trapped in a cage with no way out, and no one knew she was there.

Her eyes stung with tears, but she held them back like usual. Crying never solved anything. The masters mocking voice and stupid psychotic smirk tormented her when she shut her eyes, her past she couldn't even remember was suffocating her, and worst of all she might never see her fam again. She let out a shaky breath, bringing her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them. She felt so alone, having only her prison of a brain to talk to.

"This is okay, this is fine. They're safe, i Just have to get out of here." She said aloud to herself, sitting up and wiping her nose on her sleeve. She looked out the jail windows into the deep galaxy of space, feeling her hope seeping out faster and faster as each star twinkled. She lent back against the wall in quick defeat, allowing a few tears to finally spill onto her cheeks- no one was here to see it anyway.

Despite how cluttered her mind was, she could only think of Yaz in that moment. Even though she hadn't a clue now who or what she was, had just killed her oldest friend, and created her whole race, Yaz's gorgeous face was keeping her sane. The blonde could still hear her voice, calming her down and telling her they'd get through this together. But there was no together anymore. It was just the doctor.

The doctor grunted and rubbed her face, regret and hatred filling her gut and making itself at home. She wished she could've at least said goodbye...

"No! Shut up doctor, don't think like that." The doctor snapped at herself, jumping to her feet and doing a lap of the small stone prison. She wrapped her jacket around herself tighter, shivering at the weirdly cold breeze that seemed to blow continually. She ran her hand down the stone wall, piecing together the texture and working out the exact material in her head. Though it wouldn't be much use, it'd give her something else to think about.

-

Yaz sat alone in the living room, hugging a scarf close to her chest. She'd been sat there ever since they'd got back home, refusing to eat, drink or speak to anyone. She felt guilty about pushing her family and friends away, but she couldn't face them right now. She didn't know if she ever could. Looking at Ryan and Graham reminded her of the Doctor, and all she could do was sob at her memory.

She didn't know if the doctor had died, if she'd really sacrificed herself, or made one of her great escapes like she always did. Yaz prayed she did, but this felt strangely real. She wasn't back yet, she hadn't heard from her. That wasn't like the doctor.

Yaz cracked a smile at the thought of the doctor, messy haired with funny goggles on working on some weird alien weapons, talking aloud to herself and blushing when she realised the fam were listening. She giggled at the memory of the blonde strutting into a government building, mouth full of custard creams and talking to the CEO of the FBI like she owned the place. Her confidence always astounded her.

Suddenly the joy she felt switched to sadness in a matter of seconds, and her fit of giggles turned to sobs. The possibility of the doctor being gone for real had left a hole in her heart, one she didn't know the blonde was filling. She pushed her face into the scarf and sniffed it, calming at the scent. It was the doctors scarf, Yaz had bought it for her for Christmas one year and she'd warn it for weeks before it got stained with something weird.

Yaz had taken it home to wash for her, but couldn't bring herself to. She loved how it smelled of her, reminded her of her, almost carried her bubbly personality with it. She couldn't believe she may never hear that lovable voice again. Yaz rubbed her eyes and looked up at the ceiling, the room foggy from tears. "Tell me your still out there, give me a sign. I need to know you're alright." She whispered to herself.

She half hoped the Tardis to appear right then and there, and the doctor to walk out fine and alive. She wanted to jump into her arms and kiss her and admit to being utterly lost without her. But it didn't. She wasn't there. It was just Yaz. She looked down at her phone, flicking the screen on and staring at it longingly. She'd set her lock screen to a picture of the doctor pulling a very 'unflattering' face, as she called it, and she'd laugh every time she opened it.

She sighed out, suddenly feeling a tingle in her heart and head. It was odd, and quick, but she felt the pain and sadness ease. Like the feeling of hope she would get if the doctor really did just walk in fine. She looked around, but she was still alone. Maybe the doctor was still out there, trying to tell her she was alive.

She hoped it was- Heck, she knew it was.

"I'm here doctor, I'll always be here." She said aloud, to no response. The feeling wobbled, but she could tell someone was controlling it. And she hoped that someone was the doctor.

She looked out the window into the darkness of the night, at all the stars twinkling next to each other. She smiled and wiped a tear off her cheek, leaning her face against the doctors scarf. She hoped she was up there somewhere, watching over her- whether she was alive or not.

I hear you Yaz, just hold out a little longer...