polaroid. (h. ransom drysdale) |UNDER REVISION|

Deux (2) ~ Apologize

Warning: Implied smut

" What's left if I give you my all?"
" Stepped over me like a sidewalk
That's your loss, your loss"
~ Memories, Thutmose (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-verse)

Ransom turned on the car, the engine purring smoothly like the fine beast it was. He sat there, pondering, his mind racing at the thought of all the things they had done in that car. They particularly enjoyed sharing kisses in the driver's seat, with Antoinette seated on his lap, sometimes the wrong move from her made the activity escalate to a whole other level they both knew they enjoyed. Moans, groans, tugging, squeezing, sucking, both sweet and dirty words played very important parts in these events.

Ransom snapped out of his train of thought when he felt himself getting flustered, avoiding a boner at all costs. 'Now is not the time' He reminded himself, clearing his throat "Are you getting in or not?" He shouted, the question coming out more rude than it should have, observing her every move from the inside of the vehicle. She was looking over at the house, expressionless, more specifically to the balcony, where Marta noticed and gave her a thumbs up accompanied with a smile as a way of support. Marta, along with Meg, had accompanied her in every step of the way when it all happened and Antoinette couldn't be more thankful to have friends like them.

"Yes, sorry" She whispered, getting in the passenger's seat and fastening the seatbelt. As he drove away, she placed in one earbud, pressing play to the music. Normally, she wouldn't do this, it just wasn't polite according to how she was raised, but this was a whole other situation she was facing and politeness wasn't invited.

The ride was deadly silent, anyone could believe they came back from a wake. Antoinette sat with her legs crossed and set aside, not even daring to look at Ransom, so instead she stared out the window, listening to Édith Piaf and dreaming about being back home as the road painted in green by the alignment of trees light up her eyes. Ransom kept taking little peaks at her from the corner of his eye, trying to not be so obvious on how breathtaking he found the lady sitting next to him.

"Look, we need to talk eventually, it's been 2 months, Marie" Ransom decided to speak first as they crossed town. That was a sweet nickname for them, even though for Antoinette it meant  bitterness spreading around like a disease on her body. Taken from the french monarch, he would whisper it after a soft kiss, or maybe during one of their cheerful adventures. Like an owl, Antoinette whipped her head to look at him with wide eyes.

"First of all, you have no right in calling me that. It's Antoinette. Even Ms. Gauthier, if you please" She hissed at him, watching him pull over, while her accent became thicker as it did when she was feeling strong emotions. "Second, there's nothing to talk about it. It was crystal clear" She rushed to get out of the car when it stopped, wanting to jump off even when it was on the move. The crisp winter air slapped her in the face, but she was too angry to care. Her face was flustered from both the temperature and the boiling emotions inside.

"Look I wasn't myself..." He started, walking behind her, the sunglasses hiding the unintentional puppy eyes. As fast as he started, as fast he was cut off by her raising hand, warning him to stop.

"Look I wasn't myself" She mocked him with a neat american accent and a deep voice "That's what they all say" She muttered, taking a cart. All this act somehow seemed adorable to him, it was sort of watching Monsters Inc. and experience the little girl trying to scare someone, but he wanted to stay serious regardless how cute the woman in front of him looked. Still, that doesn't mean he wasn't a tad terrified of her "That isn't too good of an excuse if you haven't noticed! But..." He looked down at her as they stopped for a brief second "I am taking Harlan's orders of sorting this out. I am also going to be the bigger person and admit this behavior of us is toxic. You have this supermarket trip, no more, to explain yourself"

Ransom took off his sunglasses and followed her around the store quietly, observing her mumble stuff, check a list, grab things and at the same time helping her out if something was too high up, all this while he organized his thoughts on how to apologize. He wasn't good at apologies, they just weren't up to his style and reputation, so perhaps the longest one he ever gave was "I am sorry". He was waiting for this moment everyday since the incident happened, but now that he was standing there, with an opportunity in his hands, he didn't know how to take it. The whole situation got him nervous and this was one of the few, very rare moments where he felt confused, anxious and with barely any confidence to rely on. It was so out of his comfort zone; he felt like a fish out of water in the drying sun.

"Hear me out..." He finally spoke, taking a deep breath "I'm not asking you to forgive me, but if you did still it would be wonderful. I played you like a cheap kazoo when you aren't one; I know that's not how the saying goes but once you told me fiddles are very hard to play" He chuckled nervously, watching her struggle hiding the smile that threatened to creep in. "You know I'm not good with feelings. You were this invaluable treasure that was handed out to toddler who didn't know its value. I know I fucked up senseless but now I am close to finding out what I'm doing. Antoinette" He placed his hand on her shoulder, making her stop in the middle of the alley. "I am not afraid anymore. I'm not afraid of what my family will think or say. I'm not afraid of being with only one person at a time and falling in love" He spoke breathlessly and delicately, his voice full of regret. When Antoinette looked into his eyes she could see he wasn't playing pretend anymore.

Ransom's hand traveled from her shoulder to her cheek, cupping it while not breaking eye contact. For a moment, the world slowed down around them. He started to lean in, his breathing hitching in anticipation. It had been 2 long months aching each other's touch.

"Not so fast, big guy" Antoinette rushed to softly nudge his careful hand away, all of this against her deepest wishes but it simply shouldn't be that easy "Apology accepted. But unfortunately, I am not that easy to win back" She said playfully, watching his expression fall as he snapped out of the fantasy. "Okay, in all seriousness, if you didn't know, you really hurt me. You ripped my heart out for a reason I still do not understand. So it's going to take you more than an apology to repair all the damage you've done." She looked at him one last time before turning away, continuing their way.

"Then what do I have to do? I'll do anything" Ransom asked, rushing to follow her to the cashier. It was an odd behavior coming for him; running after women when they ran after him. He was the living proof that love, in fact, does crazy things to people.

"Impress me" She spoke with simplicity, getting all the articles out of the cart. He just stood there, dumbfounded. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

"Fuck" Ransom whispered to himself.

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A/N: Do I seriously intend to end every chapter with a curse word? That's a secret I'll never tell. You know you love me, xoxo writer hoe