Different (Slow Updates)

Chapter 37

Colby's POV:

It didn't take long before the door slowly cracked open to reveal Sam. He looked so nervous. Seeing him made me less sure I wanted to do this. I almost changed my mind entirely......NO! This needs to happen and it needs to happen now.

"Sam we need to talk. Shut the door," jeez I sound like his dad. Or my dad I guess.

He looks hesitant but does eventually come all the way in and shut the door. He stands there awkwardly messing with his jean pockets. I half want him to say something but I know it's best he doesn't. If anything breaks my focus I'll coward away again.

"So what is....." Sam starts but I cut him off.

"No I'm talking,"

His face flushes and he looks so off. He doesn't look like himself. I'm the cause of this but so is he. He did this. He deserves my rage. He kisses me, than ignores me and treats me like shit, just to kiss me again. He keeps doing this and I'm confused and I don't know what he wants.

"What is it you want from me Sam?"

He looks utterly taken aback by my question.

"W-what?" He chokes out. "What are you talking about?"

This just makes me angrier. I feel my rage bubbling inside of me the longer we stand here together.

"You're fucking joking right? Oh come on man! This isn't the time to play dumb with me. You can't just keep pulling shit like last night! You can't kiss me and then pretend nothing happened and ignore me for your girlfriend you claim to 'love' so much! Except you've cheated on her now more times than I can count! You betray her and kiss me. And much more considering what we did last night. That beyond crossed a line! You took.....we had.....you can't just do that and expect me not to be upset with you! You lead me on when you feel like it, you ignore me and get short with me and treat me like shit, for this god fucking awful cycle to repeat! I mean are you honestly mental? Like seriously I need to know!"

"I...we......what all happened last night?" He ask. "Did we.....?"

Those are the only responses he can muster to me. He doesn't even give me an answer or seemed phased by anything else I said. I'm beyond frustrated.

"If you're asking if we had sex.......yeah we did. You've really fucked up this time. What do you gain from this? What's wrong with you?" I wail basically in tears once more.

"Colby I'm......I don't.....I.....I'm sorry but I don't have the answers you want,"

"Are you fucking serious? Any answer will fucking do! Don't say sorry to me! Say sorry to Mary who you've cheated on since day one! Say sorry to Kelianne and Taylor for basically keeping them apart because she's been helping me try to get over you! Say sorry to all of them because they deserve to hear it! Don't say fucking sorry to me because I don't give a fuck about your sorry. That doesn't mean shit to me anymore! That holds zero meaning to me because I know it's a hollow apology! You don't care about me! You like the attention you just liked fucking with me! You are the worst person I know! We are not lovers, we are not brothers or family, we're not even friends anymore! I'm completely and utterly done with you. I have no need for you in my life anymore! After this trip don't speak to me, don't look at me, don't have anything to do with me," I finally finish my screaming. Not giving a fuck at this point if the rest of the house can hear me. At this point I hope they do. I hope Mary did. She deserves to know what he's done, what I did, what we did to her.

"Colby I...."

"Save it Sam. I don't care. Whatever you say isn't going to change my mind, it's just going to piss me off more," I say turning my back to him. "I think it's best you leave now,"

"B-but Colby..." the hurt in his voice almost breaks my heart but I know it's not real. Non of this was.

"Get the fuck out," I say so calmly it almost scares me.

I can't imagine the look on Sams face but I hope knows now that I'm serious and I want nothing to do with him anymore. I don't want this weird mind fuckery he has put me through and I'm done.

Not a second late I hear the door shut and I completely break down into tears. I fall to my knees and place my head into my hands and I stay like that far to long. I cry every ounce of water out of my body until I'm completely dried out. I couldn't bring myself to face anyone to get water, so I laid on the floor the rest of the night holding my head in pain until I passed out from exhaustion.

I'm not sure how serious Sam took me but I hope he understands I'm serious. I want nothing to do with him. I'm done with our friendship, I'm done with the channel, I don't even wanna live with him. I have no use for him in my life anymore and I'll do anything I can to make sure he's completely out of it. I hate him. I hate him so much......