Different (Slow Updates)

Chapter 31

Chapter 31:

Colbys POV:

After walking all this way I'm freaking starving. There has to be a small diner or something. I need to eat and rest my feet.

Continuing on I pass a few small stores and a couple of older couples holding hands. Man that's really beautiful. I want to be loved like that. I want someone proud to hold my hand and love me. Someone who's actually interested in me. Sam could never love me like that. And even if he did I don't think he could ever go out in public with me.

In my own head, I almost pass a diner. It was quite small on the outside but It'd have to do. Hopefully they have waffles.

"Welcome to the flapjack house," I hear an older lady greet upon opening the door. She had long dark brown hair that matched her eyes. She wore lighter makeup just visible enough to see. She was average height with an average build. She had wrinkles by her eyes and lips. But looked quite young for the wrinkles she had.

"Thank you," I smile.

"How many baby?"

I shift awkwardly and hold up one. She gives a small smile and and wink and tells me to follow her. I do as she says and she takes me to a booth towards the back. I sit and she hands me a menu.

"What can I get you to drink?"

"Coffee and orange juice?" I ask.

She nodded and heads behind the counter.

I start to really look around the place and it was kind of cute. It looked like a more rustic waffle house. I hope the foods as good as it smells. I kind of skim across the menu not sure if I'm up for really anything. A moment passes and the waitress heads over with my drinks.

"Thank you," I say.

She smiles and pulls out her pad to take my order.

"What can I get you baby?"

"Just an order of flapjacks," responding to her question I close the menu and hand it to her. She nods takes the menu and proceeds behind the counter again.

I fiddle with my fingers knowing I have no other entertainment. I left my phone hopefully somewhere in the house. So the only thing I can do is this or flip through my wallet. How did I remember my wallet but not my phone? Ugh well I guess it's okay. Better to get food and have no phone than starve I guess.

Not five minutes later and here comes my waitress with the flapjacks and a bottle of syrup. She places them in front of me giving a smile. I smile back thanking her. She turns around and goes about cleaning other tables.

I look down at my plate not really hungry but feeling starving at the same time. All I can think about is the way Sam kissed me last night. How he seemed to want me so bad but how he had to be so wasted to do so. It kills me he'll never love me back. I mean I know he loves me but he doesn't love me love me. Why am I trying to explain this to myself? I'm literally talking in my head.

"You okay baby?" Startled I look up and see my waitress.

"Y-yeah," I smile a bit.

"You sure honey? You been poking them flapjacks for a solid ten minutes, looking kinda.....well kinda broken," concern lacing her voice she sits in front of me.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I'm kind of taken aback. But I find myself wanting to spill my guts to this older women I just met fifteen minutes prior.

"Aren't you gonna get in trouble sitting here?" I ask still poking my pancakes.

"Baby making sure you're okay is more important than cleaning the spice rack. Plus I'm on break anyways. And I'm sleeping with the owner," she winks.

I kind of laugh a bit not sure if she's serious.

"Wait really? Who's the owner?" I ask feeling nosey.

She chuckles and points across the room. I see a women doing paperwork. She had shorter hair that was completely solid blonde. She had heavy makeup and what looked like a suit. But it was more so a casual wearing suit. I could see her biting her nails as she frantically wrote stuff down.

It took me a second to realize but it clicked. I'm pretty sure this women just came out to me. A complete stranger. She had no fear behind her words either. She sounded....well she sounded proud of her lover. Lesbian, bi, or whatever this women was she was proud to be it. I admire her and I envy her at the same time.

"Wait that women over there?" I ask kind of taken aback.

"Yes sir. Been a proud lesbian since I was born. Been with that mess over there since we were fourteen. I knew she was the love of my life when we first met," gazing towards her partner or wife I'm not quite sure which one. There was so much love in her eyes.

"That's really beautiful. I'm impressed you shared that about yourself with a total stranger," I say kind of shocked.

She turns to look at me.

"Baby if there is one thing I've learned in my forty-five years of living. Is that to hell what other people think. I'm gonna die happy knowing I'm my realest self and in love with the women of my dreams. And you're not just any stranger. I know we have the same thing in common," she smiles and places her hand on top of mine.

I kind of tear up. I can't control it. I'm not sure if it's my lack of sleep or what but I just couldn't hold back. I wanted to spill my guts to this older lady I've literally just met. And that's what I did. I sat here with her for God knows how long telling her everything. Every detail since the day I met Sam till this very second.

Not once did she seem uninterested or annoyed by my emotional rambling. She almost seemed sad and quite emotional herself. I could see the pity on her face as she'd squeeze my hand every so often.

"....and that's what lead me here to your diner," I say finishing up my entire life story basically.

"Baby, I know we just met and you don't have to listen to me. But, I'm gonna give you some advice my mama always told me. 'Love is work but it should never be hard' and I live by that. Love takes work and it will always require it no matter how much you love someone. No matter how long you've been together it will always need work. But it should never ever be hard," grabbing both my hands she gave them a tight squeeze.

"Now whoever this boy is.....I want you to know. That if you're meant to be it will happen. Where there is a will there is a way baby," she spoke wiping my tear off my cheek.

To be honest I didn't even realize I was still crying.

"I really appreciate all of this....Um,"

"Patty," she smiled.

"I really appreciate everything you've done for me patty. You've really helped me a lot. I feel like I'm in a much better head space than when I walked in," I take a deep breathe and feel the majority of my anxiety leave my body. "I'm Colby by the way,"

"It's nice to meet you, Colby. I really hope everything works out and you get your happily ever after,"

She proceeds to give my hands one last squeeze before getting up to return to her job. But not before walking over to her lover and planting a kiss on her lips. I could do nothing but admire the love radiating off of those two people. I want that. I deserve that. And as much as I hate to admit it. I don't think Sam can give me that kind of love. I think it's time......I think it's time to move on. The best way to do so is maybe to get some space from him. I.....I just need some space.