Her Silent Cries

Chapter 14

Thabang was suspended and I guess I would only see him when we write exams cause he didn't have a phone and he never came around school.He would prefer chilling at the Civic center but I never went there though a group of girls in my class loved that place
A week passed and it was now exams and here I was looking forward to seeing Thabangs selfish ass.He walks in with those group of girls from my class that like going to civic center but I pay no attention to it.I stand there expecting him to come to me but he just passes with those girls acting like he didn't see me and Alexus look at each other with that did this mf just and I give her the yep he did look we shrug and it off and walk to where we would be writing our exams.It was write and go so after the exams you go home and this time I had to walk back home it wasn't so far so after the exam me and Alexus bought weed and ate munchies for a while before leaving school we decided to pass by Civic center and surprise Thabang I mean he was always begging me to come.We arrive and we see Thabangs face since he was on the other side and a car was covering his body I get so excited and start increasing my pace Thabang doesn't see us I don't know who his talking to but he keeps looking down and laughing I carry on walking and I come to a complete halt when I get to the other side of the car Thabang had his hands on this girls shoulders The Girl from My Class!!! and I came in the nick of time cause that mf was all up in her neck kissing her and shit I look at them and laugh and Thabangs eyes pop out as soon as he realizes that it's me and tbh I wasn't mad at all all I did was look at him look at the girl smile and walk away while Alexus on the other hand went crazy and keep in mind that she's coloured so I had to tame a coloured I finally convinced Alexus to let them be and we went home.I arrived home drained as ever when me and my sister got into a physical fight I mean out of nowhere I don't know how it started but it was really messed up I decided on not fighting back and allow her to beat me up so we can get this over and done with but then I felt blood running down my nose and I just had to get up I pushed her into the wardrobe and she stared at me with eyes full of fear she walked away leaving me standing right there in the middle of the room I turned to face the mirror and my face was beat to a pulp one eye vain had popped and I had a blood cloth not to mention my eyes turning a purplish colour my forehead was swollen cause she banged my head to the ground repeatedly and she pulled out a bit of my hair cause there was a ball of hair on the ground and she busted my nose.I couldn't take it anymore I felt numb I felt unloved why me !!?What did i do ive been giving people my all and they spit on my face Treezy Thabang I was just so tired of everything I wanted to end my life it's not like somebody will notice I'm gone cause nobody cares or loves me anyway I sent a text to my bestfriend Kay that day telling her I love her but I don't think she looked more into it or found it suspicious that outta the blue I tell her I love her after sending the text I went to run myself a hot steamy shower I made sure that steam filled up the whole bathroom to the point where you get dizzy when you walk in I walked in the shower a bit dizzy feeling out of it and that's when I did it....I took it and the feeling I got when I held it was unexplainable it comforted me gave me a way out I look down at the razor thinking about all the events that have took place this year and without regret I cut myself I watched the blood run down my wrists and I'm still not satisfied so I put the razor right on top of a vain and I cut myself again I was overcome by an excruciating pain and the blood was just flowing I was disturbed when I heard a knock on my door it was my baby brother by that time I hadn't even realized that I was crying I asked him what he wants and he told me my food is ready I stop the water and walk out covering my arm with my wash cloth and dry up my body I go to my room to change into pajamas and the washcloth was soaked in blood that was the amount of blood I was losing and quickly I took out a bandage and wrapped it around my arm to apply pressure and stop the bleeding wore a hoodie over my pajamas to cover the bandage.After eating we went to go wash the dishes and suddenly I felt very weak and my knees were failing me I couldn't pretend to be fine anymore my body dropped to the floor and I was battling to keep my eyes open my baby brother rushed to my side giving me water asking if I'm okay but I was too weak to answer him and the last thing I saw was them approaching me ....