Testing waters

Ch.32 car ride

Once I stepped into the car Mel gave me a huge hug. It was weird how close to her I felt after two days I don't know she's just that type of person I guess. "Want to hang out at my house?" I offered and she smiled warmly and kept the conversations going until we got there.

As soon as I got inside I excused my self before washing my face and changing into some sweatpants and a t shirt and combed through my hair pulling it into a pony tail. I felt better then I did before but the headache was still there, and the heartache. Mel and I talked about Ryan and my life and then I learned more about her ,her dad left when she was four and no one has talked about it since.

We exchanged secrets and laughs and felt good to forget about Ryan. I decided to check my phone since I haven looked at it all yesterday and today and found tons of messages and voicemails all from Ryan.
"Ignore them it will make you feel worse" she said I nodded knowing she was right and set it on the carpet next to me.

"He's the only thing keeping me alive" I whispered not realizing that I had actually said that aloud. "What? What do you mean?" She asked seriously. "I was going to ...you know, he kept me sane and helped me and now he's gone!" I said sobbing. Mel immediately crawled over and wrapped her arms around me. "I'll be here ok? I don't really have any friends either I can help you I promise" she assured me. I nodded and hugged her back and continued to cry into her shoulder.

About an hour later there was a knock at the door and Mel got up to go answer it. "Please let me in" I heard Ryan's voice beg I shuddered and scotched back further away. I couldn't talk too him not now. "She's broken because of you! Get out you don't deserve her" Mel said sternly. "I can't leave I'm in love with her!" He shot back. "Please I know she needs me as much as I need her let me in!" He pleaded.

I continued to wail at the sound of his voice it's only been a day but has felt like forever. "No!" Mel snapped and soon Ryan was pushing past her into the house. I whipped the years from my face and looked him dead in the eyes. "Savannah" he whispered. "Please Ryan, please leave me alone" I said and before I knew it the tears were back. He moved closer to me and I shot him a deathly glare. "Ryan I'm serious I can't be around you!" I choked out. "Your breaking me more than I was already broken you killing me!" I wailed. "I know how much I hurt you! And it kills me more than you know please take me back!" He pleaded again his eyes getting red, I shook my head crying softly now. "You know I can't" I whispered.

***

After Mel pushed him out he finally gave up and left. She left me a few hours later and I fell right asleep dreading the next day of school. Once I was up and dressed I grabbed my things and headed outside ready to walk to school. As soon as I opened the front door o regretted it because Ryan was right there in his car, "let me drive you" he said. I didn't want to but walking in the cold was worse so I gave in and sat in passenger seat.

"You can't say you don't love me" he said. "Your right I can't because I do, but you never loved me" I said looking out the window. "You know I do I was stupid because I never thought about getting attached" he whispered. "It was horrible for you to do that to anyone not just me Ryan!" I snapped surprised of my tone, I heard him sigh next to me. "I'm sorry I know you will never forgive me but I need you" he said.

"I need you, I need you more then I could ever need anyone but now I realized how stupid I am! I got so attached to someone who didn't even love me back at the time and now, now I don't know what to do!" I said blinking back tears. I could see the pain in his eyes as I finished my sentence how could I love someone so fast? So much?.

The rest of the car ride was painfully silent as soon as we got to the car I ran out into the courtyard in search for Mel.