Prince of Flour

25. A Wisp of Peace

It had been about a month since Seonghwa had come home, nearly the same time he had spent away. His mother and he had slipped back into their usual pattern without any hesitation. He went together with her to the market every Friday and even though the corners of his mouth were just a bit unsettlingly too wide and the flesh there scarred, the nice merchant ladies still told him how handsome he looked.

Seonghwa felt content at home. He had told his mother everything that had happened to him on his journey and they had cried together, her endlessly consoling him. He was starting to cope with these memories, however sometimes still feeling his heart start to beat faster when a person with a black hat crossed the roads.

Seonghwa found himself distracting that sad mind of his with work, tirelessly baking away and actually managing to lift their sales a bit. He used the pride of that as a distraction also.

He was not allowing his thoughts to stray somewhere while he was awake but they still got to his subconscious while he was sleeping. He dreamt then. He dreamt of the vast ocean, of turbulent waves and a swaying ground underneath his feet. He dreamt of a hot sun burning down at him, of only half closed shirts and cutlasses.

He dreamt of Kim Hongjoong.

The first time that happened he had accidently kicked his mother when his legs tried to mimick the ship's movements in his sleep. She had awoken him then and he had been crying confusedly. He did not know why and she did not comment on it, just pulling him close and letting him rest.

She did not ask about it and she did not wake him again. But sometimes he woke up with sad eyes and that seemed to tell her a lot than any amount of words ever could.

Seonghwa had to understand it somewhen. He did not know when exactly the thought ocurred to him but he was pretty sure the first time was when they were going back home on a Friday and he had been looking up at the stars.

They were still the same stars and the same sky. The same night Hongjoong was looking up to. Seonghwa was gripping at this realisation hard, imagining Hongjoong looking up at the sky and staring at it in wonder too when in reality he was probably busy already again playing with some women.

And it was only at that pang of jealousy, after a sharp stab in his heart that Seonghwa finally admitted it to himself.

He was madly in love with Hongjoong.

And after that everything seemed to turn for the worse.

He was slipping up constantly, his mind distracted by the pirate's grin or voice. By the fire in his eyes and every single word he had ever told Seonghwa that kept replaying in his head.

Seonghwa was turning sick with missing him and even though he was at home, had his life back and was happy, he did not feel at the right place anymore.

Or more like he felt something was missing, something that was too important to let go.

His mother noticed it and she covered up for him smoothly, reminding him of the sugar when he forgot it while baking, going out to feed Jimmy when his thoughts had strayed too far to notice. He grew more agitated by the day, oftenly not sleeping because the images his mind conjured seemed far too real, far too much for his poor heart to handle.

He was sitting outside on many nights, bundled up in his warmer clothes so the cool air would not get to him while he was staring up at the stars.

And then it was time for that sailor to come by.

They had not been notified of his arrival, he just stood in front of their door one day and Seonghwa opened it with flour in his hair, making the other man chuckle a bit.