Always Doesn't Mean Forever: Book 2 (Severus Snape/student)

Chapter 19: It's Not The Same

Alex's P.O.V.

There she sat in all her glory. Red and black paint shining in even the dim lighting of Platform Nine and Three Quarters. As old as she was she was still as beautiful as ever. The Hogwarts Express. My ticket home, in hand. My trunk sat lazily at my side as my eyes and Dad's scanned over the beauty that stood before us. It was, in a way, a vessel home for both of us. One Dad could not return to. One I could only go back to for a short amount of time. Our home would never be the same again. For either of us. For what made it a home was the people we shared it with. For Dad they were all gone. His home torn apart by the man that brought so much devistation to both of our lives. For me I had lost one of the most important people in the world to me, but I had three left there. Three people to return to. Three people to make it home. He had none. My heart, always, ached for him. We were here early. About twentty minutes early to be exact so we took our time. After a few moments of silence I turned to Dad. "It doesn't feel right anymore. Boarding this train without her. Marissa was the one that was always there..." Dad pulled me into a tight hug and held me close as he kissed the top of my head and I returned the hug.

"I know. I know how it feels. I had to do it too. I never thought I'd board that train without the three of them at my side. A few years ago I did. As James was dead, Peter belived to be, and Sirius sat and rotted in Azkaban marked as a trader. It nearly broke me to even walk into the station. Felt like I was suffocaed by the memories of the three of them. My three best friends. My two brothers and the man I loved..." As I caught his last few words confusion clouded my mind.

"The..the what?" Dad sighed and pulled me back so we were standing close to the wall away from all the bustle of eager parents and kids.

"The man I loved Alex." Suddenly it all seemed to click.

"Sirius..." I said in a low whisper. Dad closed his eyes lightly for a minute and swallowed the fear of the truth that grew in his throat.

"Yes. Sirius."

"You were in love with him...?" Dad nodded as tears swam in his eyes. "You're still in love with him." It wasn't a question. I could see it. He simply nodded again. I waited for him to say more if he even was. After a few minutes he began to speak again in a low voice.

"Our sixth year... everything came out. I'd known I loved him since my third year. That was the year I admitted to myself I was in love with him. I kept quiet about it for another three years until...until one day... James and Peter forgot about my transformation because they were completely absorbed with their first huge prank of the year. Sirius was as well, mind you, but not as much as them I suppose. Not enough to forget about me. That night I took my potion and headed to the Shrieking Shack alone, mad, and hurt. A few minutes before my transformation Sirius showed up, still in human form with a sympathetic smile. Unusual for him at that time.."

Flash Back

Remus Lupin sat alone in a dark dingy corner of the Shrieking Shack with his knees pulled up to his chest and his arms wrapped tightly around them, awaiting with a heavy heart, the pain that was to follow soon. Remus was already hurt though. Not from a monthly plague, but from the painful truth that he had bothered his friends too many times and they had grown tired of it. Just as he knew they would. His friends had forgotten him. Salty tears stung in the young wolfs eyes as his heart clenched from both fear and hurt. Remus trembled as he felt the moonrise growing closer. It would be soon. Half an hour at the most.

A few minutes later Remus jumped slighty as the silence was broken by the sound of foot steps and boots scraping the steps leading up to his room. Sirius Black appeared at the door and looked at Remus with a small smile and apologetic look in his eyes. His hands stuffed in his pockets, his hair tossled and perfectly fixed at the same time. He just stood there and stared at the scared and broken man before him. "Moony..." He spoke quietly.