Always Doesn't Mean Forever: Book 2 (Severus Snape/student)

Chapter 22: Not Hurt, Anger. (Last Chapter!)

Alex's P.O.V.

I sat on the couch in my quarters with my knees pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped tightly around them, and rocking slightly and trembling harshly. I thought over the events of the last few hours. I listed them in order from the things I knew:

1. My Grandfather acted strange today when we talked.

2. Severus has been acting distant and terrified.

3. He was holding onto me and acting like he'd never see me again the same as grandfather. He was mortified.

4. He made me promise to trust him no matter what.

5. We heard loud noises and he left and locked me in his room.

6. I got out.

7. I couldn't find Grandfather.

8. I watched as he fell, dead, from the Astronomy tower.

9. Severus killed him. Harry saw the whole thing. When Draco couldn't he did.

10. Will was not my friend. He was a Death Eater who killed my best friend and was sent to take me to Voldemort.

11. I killed him.

12. No one could be trusted.

13. It's all a lie. Everything was a lie.

14. Severus is a loyal Death Eater.

15. He never loved me.

16. Will was a loyal Death Eater.

17. He never cared for me.

18. I have no family left.

19. My life is a lie.

20. I'm scared. I'm hurt. I'm confused. My heart has been torn out. I'm numb.

I stared down at Severus's ring and thought I may be sick again... How could he do this... How could he make me fall in love with him? How could he lie about everything. How could he take it so far? How could anyone be so evil? This was just another plan that Voldemort had to break me apart. Make me fall in love then have that person betray me. The most horrible thing was... I still love him. I don't want to, but I do. I want to hate him. I should hate him. I loud knock at my wall made me jump.

"Alex let me in!" I heard Dad yell.

"Dad!" I ran off the couch and opened the wall as fast as I could. Before it was even open fully Dad ran through and hugged me hard, picking me up as he did. I threw my arms around his neck and held onto him tightly. "Alex... I heard... I heard about everything..."

"He's dead Dad! He's dead and..and Severus killed him." I said as I sobbed into his neck.

"I know..." He rubbed my back. "Alex.. Are you okay?"

"No.. I killed Will Dad.. I killed him... He was a Death Eater. His job was to gain my trust and when they attacked to, take me to Voldemort. He killed Marissa. It was him. He tried to take me and I killed him... drained the life out of him... Severus was a lie to.. think it was his mission to make me believe he loved me like Will then betray me to break me even more like Voldemort wants... I feel so stupid. I feel so naive. I feel violated and used and scared and hurt and confused and... I feel like a terrible person because even after all of this I still love him and I tried to make it stop and I cant! It won't stop and I don't know how to make it! I want to hate him! I should hate him so why do I still love him with all my heart?!"