Nineteen

Chapter Forty-Three

I can't breath, I'm gasping. "What's wrong?" I feel someone grab me and I jump backwards, almost falling down.

I claw at my chest, sure there is a brick smashing up and down on it. "It's him.."

I don't know where I'm going, but I run. I run past buildings and people. I can't feel my legs, so I have no idea how fast I'm going.

I hear my name a few times but I don't stop. I cut corners on buildings and run around signs. I even hit my cast on a bench and whelp out in pain from the soreness.

By the time I'm done running I collapse. I'm crying and gasping for air. My whole body is shaking and I don't even bother to look up and see where I've ended at.

After what feels like forever, I look up. There are no people around and I have managed to make out the library. The darkness overtakes me and I want to hide my eyes again.

Instead, I force myself to stand and begin to walk in the direction of my dorm building. My tear stained cheeks are cold in the night air. I look around me.

There are no people but I swear I can feel him. His eyes on me. Even his hands connecting with me. I run until I'm faced with my dorm building.

I don't slow down until I smack against my door and fumble around for the key.

I slam the door behind me and sink to the floor. My cries are almost screams now and my chest feels like it could explode any minute.

I glance at my clock and see that it is 1 A.M. I don't know how long I've been sitting here.

I stand up and my body feels horrible. I walk over to the bed and lay down without changing clothes.

As I begin to drift asleep, I hear a loud banging on my door.

I am frozen. I don't move as the noise blares through the small room. 

I jump when I hear "Emory! Are you in there?"

I know the voice, but my ears are ringing so much I can't think. I walk to the door and open it anyway.

The person walks past me straight into the room. "Are you okay?" they ask searching the room for something.

I don't answer. I don't think I have a voice left. I fall to the floor.

His arms lift me from the ground and put me in the bed.

"I tried calling and I came by here three times," the person says, "I was so scared."

He takes off my shoes and throws then against the wall. 

"I can do the rest," I say as I start to sit up.

I can't let this keep taking control over me. I walk inside my closet to change clothes.

When I come out, he has on cotton shorts and no shirt. "You're staying?"

"Yeah, and you can't stop me." He says and then half-smiles.

I wipe my makeup clean and brush out my hair the best I can. It's a total mess.

"Why didn't you try to talk to me today," I ask as I look at my hairbrush.

He doesn't answer. But I don't have the patience to wait.

"Answer me." I walk and crawl in the bed beside him.

"I don't know," he says.

I raise up straight in the bed. "You don't know?" 

He shakes his head no.

"Go home." I stand up on the floor. I'm feeling particularly brave tonight, after my encounter I have decided that I can't keep letting everything control me.

He looks at me. "I mean it, Collin. Go. I am not someone you like half of the time. Leave me alone."

I walk to the door and open it. He looks like he has just seen a ghost.