Nineteen

Chapter Eight-Eight

The rain has picked up more since earlier. It's been a few hours since I woke up, and I've debated on going out for something to eat multiple times.
My new manager sent me a picture of my schedule at the book store, and my first day is next week.
I'm still laying on my side, looking out the window. The sidewalks are now puddles, threatening to cover the entire thing. In a whole month of being here, this is my first Miami thunderstorm, and it's the worst one I've seen.
As I close my eyes to hopefully fall asleep, there's a knock on my door. I groan and roll to my side. I lay there as they knock again. It takes a third time in order to convince me to get up and answer it.
"Hey," Link smiles when I open the door.
It's like a breath of fresh air during this rain storm. "Hi."
"Can I come in?" He raises his eyebrows and points past me. I nod and step to the side. He's carrying a bag in his hand, dripping with water from the rain.
"I got you something to eat," he says a she starts to spread the items onto my desk. I look at him, wondering how he knows I haven't ate yet.
"Did Clark tell you?" I come out and ask. He looks up at me.
"Yeah, his roommate told him."
Once again, I'm the middle of a pity party, and I'm tired of it. I sigh and lay back in the bed.
"Clark said he'll come by after practice today," he says as he hands me a bowl.
"Great," I sarcastically say as I begin to fill my mouth full of the gravy and biscuits.
"I know you don't want to hear it, but I told you so," he says as he lays beside of me. I snap my head to him, but he's grinning.
"He said there's someone else," I tell him, without looking at him.
We're both laid on our backs, staring at the ceiling. There's not much room, so we're as close as we can get.
"He's an ass," he says. I nod my head.
"We should go out tomorrow. Clark said his team throws parties every Thursday," he says. I dramatically gag at the word party. I don't know if I can go back after my last one, and I don't think Link knows why.
He turns to look at me. "No party? Party? What will it be?"
I don't know where Link stands with me. I obviously adore him and thank him for being good to me, but he doesn't light a flame inside of my chest like he used to.
I'm also scared to be in a crowd so soon, with strangers who couldn't care less about me. I'm taking too long to answer his question.
"Will Mac be there?" I ask.
"Clark's friend? Uh, I guess so." I've embarrassed him with the mention of yet another guy, but I have an unspoken trust with Mac after the incident.
"Yeah, I might ask Mac to go with me," I say.
He doesn't look satisfied. My words have obviously cut through him in some way, but I can't help that. I want to get out and do something, but I also want to be safe and not feel like I'm on overload.
We lay this way for a while. We watch a few movies on my laptop, but he doesn't speak much. I feel horrible, and I wish I could explain to him why I am acting this way, but I'm afraid it would do no good.
After the movie, he excuses himself for an evening class, and once again I'm left alone.

I check online probably ten times to make sure my request to add classes for another major has went through in order to obtain a teaching license. My mind can't focus on the information on the screen.
Every time my phone makes a noise, I rush to it, only to be disappointed.
The sun is getting lower, signaling that I've been here all day, and there's only a few hours left. The rain is making it darker than it should be at this time.
As it gets darker, I feel uneasy. I feel as if the walls are expanding, making the room bigger, easier for strangers to hide and wait for me to walk by.
I lay on the bed and look out the window, careful to avoid what is behind me in the shadows.
When my heart beat almost gets too loud for my mind, I grab my phone and dial for Mac.