Confusion cleared

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Me: I feel like you & I are gonna end up like Jacob because of the way you hide . Smh cause honestly I don't feel the same bout you , you making a full live person like me feel vacant .

Kalia : How do i hide?

Me: You don't like to open up Kalia

She being to throw that Social Anxiety Disorder crap at me. I truly didn't wanna see nor hear that exaggerated mess.

Me : Kalia you 16 finna be 17 stop using that crap as an excuse , I opened up to you, I been a good friend to you even when you kept playing with my emotions but I'm still fuckin' here. Like what the hell do I have to do to make you feel comfortable I respect you ,treat you kindly. I stopped doin' certain things only because you said " I like boys"
Why is it so fuckin' hard to admit that you are attracted to girls. Why is it so hard to open up to someone that put so much time into you , you quick to give a guy the approval but when a girl is trying to be a good friend you push me the fuck away & honestly I'm tired of it , tired of it all. Your bi Kalia just fuckin' admit it to yourself , you act like the whole world listening to you. Nobody working on making ya life hell on this Earth, grow so fucking balls and carry them bitches until you gain some strength cause that (S.A.D) BS ain't gone take you far.

Kalia: :/ i know it wont was not trying to play with ur feelings Jai , i have been a good friend to u i did sorta open up ...maybe i am bi but i can't date a girl Jai :/

       She begin to through the sad card saying how she can't date a girl or me because her family will disapprove. I told her I didn't want to be in a relationship with her . I fussed.

 
Me: Soo what ? You should never care what people say. If anything I should be the last cause I'm an understanding person I always understand.

Hurt me or make me mad? >> was that the answer to why you can't date a girl?

& lose me ? Ha..

She told me she didn't wanna loose me, obviously I'm special in some kind of way, deeper more than friends.

Kalia: Your not people, your Jai , it's different

The words she spoke proved I was more to her and not just a friend ,but admitting it was just so hard for her .

Me: It's gotta be something more to it. Cause my opinion shouldn't matter that much if I'm just ya friend.

Kalia: ugh, my family won't accept, what if I date you and don't feel the same later ?

Me: I don't want you to date me Kalia ! U don't wanna be that girl ya family dislike because I'm ya first girl. I just wanted you to admit it. That's it! Fuck what fam say , they should love you regardless my mom does & she really strong with God, nobody got place to judge cause everybody fuck up ! Everyone made mistakes.

Yea I get a little upset ,but I got to so I could get through to her.

Me: I don't want a real relationship just know I got you . & just know you got me when times get rough .. I got you Kalia, I see right past all that fog & cloudy weather baby doll.

Kalia: I got u too Jai

After that conversation I been wanting to have, I felt more relieved.

I begin to tell her about the steamy dream I had of her and I . I could tell she begin to think over us being together, so it could happen. It's trust , I don't want to be in a real relationship , why date a confused girl, or any person for that matter.

My phone lite up indicating I had a phone calk, I answered it to Kalia moaning on the other line.

"Jai.." she moaned, you may think it's awkward, but slowly surely she turning me on. "Yea baby doll, what you doing over there?" I smirked, biting my bottom lip , thinking of all the things she could be doing and then some. "I- I need you .." she moaned into the phone. "I'm coming" was the last thing I spoke before throwing on a hoodie of multicolor.

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