Hidden secrets

/20/

3 weeks later
China

The flashbacks of last night kept creeping in my mind while filming. I shouldn't be distracted and the world would be so disappointed when they learn that I'm falling back into old habits.

"Drink it." He whispered in my ear. I slightly pushed him away. I was fucked up but I knew better than to mess around with my cast members, especially him.

"I can't do this." I whispered.

"Why? Afraid that Cameron will find out? You two aren't even together." He snickered, "Come on Chi.. What happened to the fun you?" He kissed my neck.

"Stop." I pushed him away, "I should be sober.. I-I-"

"You should be rebuilding your friendship with Cameron." He whispered.

"Thomas." I paused, "I have to go." I grabbed my things and headed out of his room. I pulled out my phone and dialed Cameron's number.

"Hi, China." Cameron said softly.

"I love you." I spat out, "I fucking love you. I'm fucked up and I need help again but I love you Cam.. and that's the only reason why I'm calling is to tell you I love you or maybe a cry for help but I love you." I sighed and hung up the phone.

"Um, Can we talk?" Cameron asked in the middle of Sofia and Dove's Duet.

"I don't think now is a good time." I whispered.

"China, I broke up with Brenna." Cameron spat out, "The least you could do is talk to me."

"Why did you break up with her?" I sighed.

"You were on speaker last night-"

"Jesus fucking christ, Cameron!" I groaned and stood up, "Why did you put me on speaker? Hm?"

"She asked me to do it but Brenna knows how much you mean to me. I know I haven't shown it but I love you, Chi. I want to be with you and I'm ready to show you that but I can't be with you until you get the help you need." Cameron explained, "Let me go with you, Let me help you." He pleaded. I thought long and hard before I said anything else. Did I want to get help? Falling back in my old ways has been fun. Did I want to see where things go with Cameron? What if he hurts me?

"Okay." I simply replied.

"Okay?"

"I'll look into a therapist very lowkey and you can come with me." I said quietly, "Please don't tell anyone." I begged.

Chi." Cameron said softly and sat down, "I'm not that person anymore. I won't judge you but I want you to be better.. be better for us."

"This is.." I started off, "Can we talk somewhere private?" I asked.

"Yeah, lets go up to my room." He motioned for me to walk with him. I got up and as we walked out I could feel all the stares from others in the room. Maybe I was just paranoid. Cameron and I walked to his room in silence. A whole 2 miles in silence. He opened his door and there stood a sad brenna.

"Wow." She said quietly, "Took you all but two minutes." She chuckled.

"Brenna I-" Cameron started off.

"save it. I was just coming up here to tell you to be careful because Homie over here was with thomas last night doing who knows what." She snapped and pushed right past me. Cameron looked at me with confused eyes.

"Is that who you were with last night?" He asked.

"Yeah, I got drunk with him last night and we messed around a little bit before I realized what I was doing... wasn't good." I explained. Cameron didn't say anything he just nodded his head and looked away for a couple minutes.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"Yeah, I kind of am." He admitted.

"Why? You were still with Brenna up until-"

"I'm mad you even went with him in the first place and got drunk or Did drugs and did whatever you did with him. Thomas was never good for you and here you are showing the world you haven't changed one bit." He snapped. "I think you're lying." He chuckled.

"Lying about what." I said quietly.

"Wanting help. Being in love with me." He shrugged.

"Cam, we just discussed going to therapy and you coming with me. I want help and I have never stopped loving you." I walked over to him slowly before he backed away.

"I can't right now Chi. I don't want to kiss you. I just want to take this slowly." He said sadly.

"Then let's take it slowly." I sighed and rolled my eyes.

"And now you're the one that's mad."

"I'm not mad." I shrugged, "I get it. You don't trust me and you probably never will no matter how hard I try or how many times I go to therapy."

"I didn't say that. I'm learning to trust you again, Chi."

"And I'm learning to trust you because you weren't the only one hurt. I literally had one person who was there for me and that was Booboo. Yeah, bri came in later but Boo never left my side, boo never talked shit about me or started crazy ass rumors. I did horrible things Cam." I broke down but I still continued, "but I forgive myself and-" I was cut off by Cameron pulling me in for a hug.

"I get it, Chi." He whispered, "I'm sorry for everything I did but if you're ready and want to give this a shot I'm all in. I'll go with you to therapy and learn to trust."

"I'm in." I whispered. I was left with a simple kiss on the forehead.

"I love you." He whispered.

"I love you too, Freckled Face."