"Did she really do something that bad, Cameron? Why do you hate her so much?"
"Ask her about all of those hidden secrets and you will hate her just as much."
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Chinamcclain I know I have the responsibility of someone that so many look up to. It's a lot but I knew when I started acting at five this would be apart of my career, but I also understand that I want to be open and honest with everyone even if it causes disappointment. Lately, I have been struggling. I've started to drink again after being two years clean. I've started pushing away people who want to help me. At this point I have decided that I will be getting help so I can be the best person I can be. I understand if you feel I'm not a good role model but I hope you choose to stick by me. I promise to be better for you, for my family, my friends and for myself. I'll be back.
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Kenny let me finish all my scenes early after I talked to him about my struggles and my plans of going to rehab. Cameron tried to convince me that I didn't need rehab that all I needed was him, but I needed rehab.
"You ready?"Mrs Rice asked as we stood outside of the building.
"Yes." I sighed, "I am."
We walked inside and I was greeted by more counselors who walked me through every step. I feel they could sense I was terrified. They walked me to my room and told me the daily routine.
"I'll be back here tomorrow with Bri." Mrs. Rice reassured me. We created a list of people to do counseling sessions with and once I'm done with that list I can get out of here. I'm not in a hurry as I feel this will help me with recovering.
"My name is China Anne McClain, I'm Almost 18 years old and I'm an Alcoholic." I repeated to my group. I never said those things out loud before but when I did I felt kind of relieved.
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Bri knocked on my door when I was reading a book about other Alcoholics who have recovered.
"Hey." I smiled, "Come sit." I suggested while patting my bed.
"I don't want to hurt your feelings In this session." Bri confessed.
"How else are we suppose to get over things that still hurt us?"
"Can we just discuss a few things before she gets in here?" Bri pleaded. I looked at the door and Mrs. Rice was there but Bri didn't know that.
"Sure." I nodded.
"Since it's honest hour.. I still blame you." Bri said sadly, "I feel you ruined my family."
"I wish I could take back what I did to your family." I spoke up, "I didn't know he was your dad."
"You did know that he was married though."
"Bri, I was drunk and-"
"That will always be your excuse huh? You were drunk blah blah blah." Bri snapped, "Homewrecker." Bri clenched her jaw.
"I can put your dad in jail you know?" I giggled, "Statutory rape, babe."
"She's right." Mrs. Rice spoke up, "Like it or not China was 15 and your father is well over that age."
"But you knew!" Bri scolded at me, "you knew he was older and you knew he was married." Bri cried, "and no matter how much you say you've changed I will always hold a grudge and blame you." Bri admitted.
"I'm sorry-"
"And if you put my father in jail I will make sure the world knows you aborted my little sister." Bri hissed.
"Bri, let China speak." Mrs. Rice chimed in. It took a few minutes for me to think about what I wanted to do or say.
"I guess the only way to resolve things is to cut each other off." I shrugged my shoulders. Bri's lip started to quiver.
"What?" Her voice cracked, "thats it's? That's your way of making things right?"
"Bri, I have apologized over and over again. I am in rehab because I drink to take away my guilt. I don't need people in my life who want to make me feel guilty. I love you and I always will. You taught me so much and you were a great friend even when you found out everything but I'm moving on and you can't move on. I'm sorry." I shrugged my shoulders as tears started to fall, "I will always be here if you need it."
Bri started crying when she walked out. I went numb and I couldn't believe that I just did that. I can't believe I had the guts to do that, but then my mind rushed to booboo.. what would he do since I cut her off.
"I'm proud of you." Mrs. Rice smiled, " I know that wasn't easy."
"Besides hurting Cameron that was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"I understand but you told me before you came here you might lose people you love and that's okay. So, BooBoo will be here tomorrow." She pointed out, "Enjoy your afternoon, China." Mrs. Rice smiled before walking out of my room.
