The Homeless Santa

The Homeless Santa Chapter Thirty-Three: Twisted Way Of Thinking

"I TOOK drugs to escape the pain I felt from the fact that the only people I EVER FELT close to was my best friend and my sister, THE REST OF MY FAMILY, the ...the kids I'D meet at school, I ALWAYS felt like an outcast, I ALWAYS felt like such a horrible person, THAT NOBODY could like me...nobody could love me, nobody aside from Nicole and Richard- and ...that's why I took drugs, but it's not like I read books on them it's not like I learned one hundred and one drug facts Rosetta...I HAD no way of knowing that I was drugged that night because I WAS SO sure that Richard was being careful enough, I FELT safe I DIDN'T THINK TWICE ABOUT IT, I THOUGHT I WASN'T HIGH OR ...DOSED WITH SOMETHING ..alright?" And with this Rosetta growled.

"YOU SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS OFF!"

"I DIDN'T, ALRIGHT? I DIDN'T know anything was off! AND YOU KNOW WHAT, MY WHOLE LIFE FELL APART AT THE TIME OF THE ACCIDENT JUST WHEN I NEEDED SOMEONE THE MOST, JUST WHEN I NEEDED MY FRIENDS OR MY FAMILY TO BE THERE FOR ME YOU ALL TURNED ON ME!"

"SHE WAS MY SISTER!" Rosetta barked tearfully and angrily.

"SHE WAS MY WIFE," Nicholas added angrily, as he added.

"AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE FAITH IN THE FACT THAT I LOVED HER, you ...YOU TESTIFIED AGAINST ME YOU TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT MY DRUG PROBLEMS, YOU SAID IT WAS VERY VERY POSSIBLE FOR ME TO HAVE RELAPSED!"

"BECAUSE I WAS ONCE ADDICTED TO DRUGS TOO NICHOLAS, I know how easy it is to relapse back into the swing of things, I know how HARD it is to get clean and how much you try every single day not to go back there, and yet you still think about it...I REALIZE THAT, so yes it IS VERY possible FOR YOU TO RELAPSE into drugs again how could you blame me for something like that?!" Rosetta asked as Nicholas shook his head adding.

"BECAUSE YOU WERE ACTIVELY AGAINST ME FROM THE START, FROM WHEN I STARTED SEEING NOAMI you thought I WAS STUPID, and you thought I WASN'T good enough for her... but then when we got married it seemed like things changed with you and they changed for the better, you seemed like you were on my side for once, and I was .....happy..."

"....." Rosetta was silent, as Nicholas soon added.

"I thought you finally realized that I was good for your sister, that ...the only thing I wanted for her was to see her succeed in her dreams, to see her ...smile ...to see her happy .... not to bring her down, not to hold her back- I WANTED her to be alright .... because I loved her...more then anyone else."

".......If you really loved her you would have realized you were drunk and or high OR WHATEVER it was, and you would have stopped the car before the crash." Rosetta stated as Nicholas shook his head adding.

"Once again, SO many times before.....I WAS SO SURE nothing was wrong because I trusted Richard with ..."