Écarté (Lost Birds Book 4)

Part 2 Angry.

 I scrubbed down in record time but had only just begun to wash my hair when the bathroom door inched open. I froze half expecting Sab to stomp back in here because my time was up and half confused because I was doing as he'd asked.

No one came in.

An arm appeared just long enough to place a set of clean clothes on the counter and then disappeared again. I let out the breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding and went back to focusing on getting cleaned up. I knew Sab had already given me more than five minutes but I didn't want to push it and make him wait too long.

I had just finished putting my new shirt on and pulling the plug on the bath when the door opened again. This time Sab did stomp into the room. He dropped a pair of boots at my feet and knelt down. He unlaced one and pushed it toward my left foot.

"Foot." He demanded.

I slid my foot into the boot and watched as he laced it up. He repeated the same movement with the other boot and I quickly supplied my foot before he could bark at me again. Once he'd finished lacing both boots he stood back up and grabbed my hand to pull me along with him.

"Sab what are you doing? Where are we going?" I tried to demand but my voice still wobbled from lack of use. It was completely nonthreatening as was the rest of me when compared to the large angry Russian currently dragging me out of the house.

I barely had time to take in the beautiful surroundings of the forest outside before Sab tugged me into what I was sure was some kind of converted barn. Once my eyes had adjusted to the dim lighting I realized my guess had been correct. The outside may have looked like an old beat up barn but the inside had a state-of-the-art weapons room. It was complete with two rows of shooting lanes.

Sab grabbed a hold of my shoulders and positioned me directly in front of one of the lanes. I could see the different colored circles of a target at the opposite end from us. Something cold and heavy was pressed into my hand. A pair of head phones snapped over my ears. A set of safety goggles followed as well.

Sab pushed at my arms, raising them up. Both hands clasped at the gun he had placed in my right hand just as he had showed me before. His thumb flicked out turning the safety of the gun off.

"Shoot it." He ordered.

I wanted to argue. I wasn't ready for this. Not any of it. I just wanted to be back in bed.

"Now Tori or I will bend you over right here and paddle your ass, bruises and all." Sab growled at me.

My eyes widened and searched his. 

It was an empty threat. 

I could see how angry and frustrated Sab was but there was none of the teasing humor he usually had when he was threatening to spank me which meant he wouldn't do it. Not after what happened but still... 

His threat lingered and I didn't want to test his boundaries right now. Even the thought of a gentle swat made my skin break out in a cold sweat. It wasn't worth the gamble.

I turned my focus to the target Sab had directed me too. I took a deep breath and, on the exhale, I pulled the trigger. There was a loud pop and my arms jerked with the force of the small gun. I took another deep breath and pulled the trigger again. Another pop with another jolt. I shot again and again until the gun made a quiet click instead of the loud popping noise.

Sab flipped the safety back on and took the gun from me. He pulled another clip from his pocket and switched it out with the first. He had the gun pressed back into my hands before I could even decide if I wanted to shoot some more.

Apparently, I did. despite the slight ache in my arms and shoulders already my fingers found the safety. They switched it off before his could this time. I let myself focus on the target and the firing of the gun. I focused all of my pain and frustration on the target at the other end of the room.

Sab had to switch the clip again. His movements were so fast I didn't lose any rhythm.

With each pull of the trigger I thought about everything that had happened. About the horrible way my mother had treated me. The awful things she had said. I thought about Stephan and how my parents had basically sold me like some kind of slave. I thought about ballet and how I barely missed it because of what my mother had turned it into for me. I thought about the guys and how angry and helpless I felt about the confusing feelings I had for all of them. Lastly I focused on my father. It wasn't just what he had done to me. The beating in hindsight wasn't as bad as what he had said. The way he had managed to mentally destroy me on top of the physical punishment was what I hated the most. I hated him and I hated myself.

The gun clicked several times but I wasn't done yet. I couldn't be. I needed more. I was so angry about everything that the shooting barely seemed to scratch the surface of it.

Sab forced my arms down and took the gun from me again. This time he didn't reload it. He set it on the ledge in front of us and lowered my ear protection. I turned as he did it and he removed my safety goggles next.

"You're angry." Sab acknowledged.

It wasn't a question but still I nodded.

"Good." He said. "You should be. What he did was wrong. He had no right to put his hands on you like that. No one does."

"It's not what he did. It's what he said. That it was true..." I shook my head. I could feel the burn of fresh tears begin to threaten but I was to angry to stop now.

"He called me a whore and the worst part is he's right!" I yelled at Sab.

"What am I doing?!" I held my arms up at my sides. "I can't be with you. No matter how much I love you because I'm still in love with four other people! Who does that?!"

"What did I do?!" I screamed at him.

"Nothing." Sab growled. "This is not your fault."

"Yes, it is!" I cried.

"I did this! I... I let this happen and I don't even know how and I've been so terrified that I would mess something up that I did nothing and now it's all falling apart." I could barely talk over the flow of tears that flooding down my face now.

"What did I do?" I repeated quietly.

Sab growled and stepped forward. His massive arms engulfed me and pulled me into him. I gladly accepted his embrace. I sank into him and let his chest muffle the sobs that wracked my body.

Sab's arms stayed tightly around me as I cried and a hand began to smooth down over my still damp hair.

"Baby, it doesn't matter how this happened. What matters now is how we are going to proceed. How you want to proceed." Aydan said.

"What your father said is bullshit." Tao growled from somewhere behind Sab.

"Loving more than one person doesn't make you a whore. It just means that you have an amazingly large heart." Theo said.

"And it's not like this is one sided crazy girl. We all fell for you too. We let you go back to that place. We all chose to wait it out with you and we are all choosing you now too. This is on all of us. You're not alone here." Cam said.

I sniffled and pulled back from Sab enough to wipe at my face.

"How long have you guys been in here?" I asked shakily.

"Long enough to see that you cannot shoot for shit dulzura." Tao said and Cameron snickered.

His random jab caught me off guard. I let out a watery laugh and glanced over my shoulder at the nearly untouched target.

"Did you actually manage to miss every shot?" Cam asked squinting at it as well.

"Not every shot." I defended.

"Ninety percent." Aydan agreed but I wasn't sure if he was agreeing with me or the guys.

I let out a groan and tucked myself back into Sab's arms. His chest rumbled with a laugh and he dropped a kiss on to the top of my head.

"We'll fix it." Sab promised and I knew he was talking about more than just my terrible shooting.