Écarté (Lost Birds Book 4)

Part 23 Hay

            My whole body felt heavy and tingly as I watched Theo pull his clothes on. He'd helped me to get dressed first and insisted that he didn't mind when my hands were still shaking to bad to latch my stupid zipper. Theo shook his shirt, knocking most of the hay off of it before pulling it on as well. I picked up one of the larger pieces of hay and twirled it back and forth in my fingers.

"So you can get splinters from hay?" I asked.

"Yup and they're a pain to get out, especially if it's somewhere like your back." Theo said taking a seat next to me.

"So you've uh... done this before?" I asked trying not to appear as flustered and embarrassed as I was at asking such an awful question.

"Sex in a barn?" He asked picking a few loose straws out of my hair.

I nodded.

"Yeah. I was pretty slutty as a teen but I got over the meaningless sex thing as I got older." Theo sighed.

"So last year?" I asked with a nervous giggle. I knew that Theo wasn't twenty one yet either which meant that technically he couldn't have been out of his 'teen' years more than a year.

"Mmm." Theo shook his head and pulled me in for a quick kiss.

"I'd say about two." He said after the kiss.

"Cameron said that you're in an open relationship?" I asked.

Theo nodded.

"We are. We feel secure enough in our relationship that we aren't afraid that having relationships, or intimate interactions, with others would interfere in any way." Theo said. "But I don't think that either of have connected with anyone well enough to form another relationship. It was more of the meaningless sex kind of interactions."

"Oh..." I said my heart sinking. "Was that uhm..." I glanced down at my fingers unable to form the entire question.

"No." Theo said firmly and tapped at my chin.

I looked back up at him.

"That was I'm in love with you-please don't leave us-sex. Way different." Theo said.

My eyes widened at his subtle drop of the l-bomb yet again.

"I know I've been... distant. Probably bordering on being an ass... and I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you feel like I didn't care or that I didn't want you the same way. I absolutely do." Theo said.

"I've just...I've only been in love with one person my entire life and then you came along and... you're so young. It's hard to remind myself that we're only three years apart and that our situation now is so different from the one Cameron and I faced." Theo sighed.

"I didn't want you to get hurt like that too." Theo admitted quietly.

"What happened to me was different." I said taking Theo's hand.

"Was it? Your piece of shit father walked in and just because you had someone in your room he beat you, with his belt I might add." Theo said. "What if you'd been doing something more? Even just a kiss... how do you think that would have gone over?"

I shook my head. I couldn't even think about it. Just the implication brought chills to my arms.

"Sweetheart what you're asking to do now is a thousand times worse than what happened that night. There is no doubt in my mind that they will kill you and I honestly doubt that you going back would make them stop what they are doing to us. Tao would still have to deal with this probation mess and they would still be taking my license. It's not something that's going to just go away." Theo explained softly.

Theo had a point but there had to be something I could do, that we could do, to stop them.

"We have to do something." I said.

"And we are. We aren't going to let them win. What they want is you. That's not going to happen. Everything else." Theo shrugged. "We'll figure it out. Right now Cameron and Sabbatian are getting our trials pushed back. All we need if a couple weeks and your parents will be behind bars and we'll be able to handle everything else safely."

"One week." I conceded with a sigh. "One week and if nothings changed, if Sab can't get the trial postponed and my parents haven't been arrested then we come up with a new plan and I actually get a damn say about it."

"Two weeks." Theo pleaded but I shook my head.

"Sweetheart please. Two weeks and I promise we will revise, together. Please. Landon was right about Stephan. He's not in jail Tori and if he get's his hands on you..." Theo's hand tightened on mine and he shook his head.

I gulped. Even though the prospect of dealing with Stephan made me feel sick to my stomach I couldn't back down.

"One week and we revisit our options. We just talk like we are doing now without the 'no's being shoved at me like I'm a child." I said.

"Ok." Theo sighed. "But both sides have to be open to hearing other options, not just us."

I nodded.

"And sweetheart, when we start shutting down and telling you no it's not because we don't care. It's because we care so much that we can't process a scenario where we would willingly put you in danger. Losing a job is not even in the same ballpark as risking your life." Theo said.

"What about Tao?" I asked my voice cracking at just the thought of him being locked up. He would be losing his life too either to years of isolation or getting harmed in a prison fight. 

"Tao is not going to prison. We're not going to let that happen ok? I promise sweetheart. We have a lot of options to explore before then and none of them involve breaking apart our family." Theo said.

I took a deep breath, nodded and scrubbed my hands over my face.

"Are you ready to go back? The others are probably pacing wholes in the floor thinking that you're still planning to leave us." Theo teased shoulder bumping me.