Écarté (Lost Birds Book 4)

Part 21 Done

I couldn't stop pacing. 

We were waiting to hear back about the latest meeting. The one where Aydan and Theo brought along my signed statement stating everything that I knew about my parent, their business, and every date I could recall where they'd missed a recital or vanished for a long amount of time. Per Cameron's suggestion I had included detailed descriptions of their punishments and everything that had happened with Stephan. It had turned into a miniature manuscript. A nightmare to be sure. It was chalked full of things I never wanted to share and now it would be published to the world. 

As much as I hated the idea of telling everyone it was the lesser evil when compared to going up on a stand to talk about it. Those were my only options at this point. Not helping those poor girls wasn't an option at all.

"Tor sit down." Cam called to me for the third time in the last hour. He patted at the seat next to him on the couch.

I paused long enough to glance over.

It was a mistake.

The second my feet stopped moving my chest began to tighten.

What if it wasn't enough?

What if it was too much?

What if I had some how made my self look guilty? 

Or worse... What if I had made the guys look guilty?

Every breath I pulled in now burned and caused the pressure inside my chest to intensify. I sank down to sit on the floor and tucked my face into my hands. I knew I wouldn't be able to hold my breath for very long but it was worth a try. At least I would have temporary relief from the pain that breathing caused.

"Tor?!" I heard Cam shoot up from the couch.

I was scooped up into someones arms. 

A slight breeze fluttered across my hair as i was carried outside. The touch of sandalwood and gun metal alerted me to who'd grabbed me even before Sab pulled my hands away from my face. I didn't try to pry my hands back from him. Instead I clung to his hand like my life depended on it. Sab squeezed my hands back and held them against his chest while his other smoothed down my hair.

"Breathe princessa." He ordered.

His command was harsher than Aydan's and his hand did a small twist as it reached the bottom of my hair. It was different but similar enough that within minutes I was able to force air in and out less painfully than before.

I was able to breathe again.

"Did you take the same class as Aydan?" I asked forcing back the tears that wanted to spill over.

"Yes. For mouse and for Cameron." Sab said dropping a kiss on my forehead.

"Mouse?" I asked successfully distracted.

"Amanda. She had a habit of hiding in her room and only coming out for food, plus she was tiny." Cam explained quietly.

"... and you?" I asked. 

Cam nodded and took a deep breath.

"It was probably three years before I could go...even a week without something. Either a panic attack or night terror that turned into a panic attack." Cam shook his head.

"Night terrors..." Tao sighed. I was a little surprised that he was here. I hadn't noticed him before when I was freaking out but then again I hadn't noticed Sab either. "Cameron and I are roommates when we split off, like with the apartment, because there were a few months of my life where I couldn't sleep alone either."