Lavender Thorns

Chapter 13- Virgil

The audition was horrible.

I screwed up the dance so bad, and even Roman noticed, I know he did. Not to mention, Mikayla even had to give me pointers. You don't give pointers during the audition.

I groaned as I bit my lip. We were all around stage, playing Freeze. I was more concerned about the other part of the audition. Singing.

I can't sing.

Sure, I like singing, but my voice is so high, which is weird since my regular speaking voice isn't. I can't hit low notes. I know I'm only Stage Crew, so I'm not getting a role anyways, but I still don't want to make a fool of myself.

We all got called one by one, and I felt a surge of panic go through me. I must have been pale or something, because Roman asked if I was alright. I couldn't speak well so I just nodded.

He eventually got called and I knew I was next. So I sat, in agonizing wait which felt like an eternity. It had only really been about two minutes, but still.

I had to get up once I was called to do so, and passed Roman on my way there. He gave me a reassuring smile, which I tried my best to return, and I opened the door with shaky hands. My knees felt wobbly and I wanted to curl up in a ball and die, but I still entered the room.

Thomas looked at me, with a reassuring smile like Roman had given me. "Hello Virgil. Just take a deep breath and sit down.."

I obliged and inhaled deeply, trying my best to calm down.

"Start when you're ready, there's no rush." 

I nodded slowly, taking a deep breath a couple more times. I had chosen a song the night beforehand. This is Home. I know I'm basic, shut up. 

I gulped and started, closing my eyes so I couldn't see Thomas, in an attempt to pretend nobody was there, and it helped.

"Often, I am upset-" My voice was still high as always, but not horribly, just meh.

"That I cannot fall in love, but I guess, this avoids the stress of falling out of it-" I grew a small bit more comfortable, but I kept my eyes closed.

"Are you, tired of me yet?" I finally managed to sing without fear, and calmed down a bit. The lyric had somehow reminded me of myself, and it grounded me.

"I'm a little sick right now, but I swear, when I'm ready I will fly us out of here-" I opened my eyes, but stared at my feet, smiling slightly.

"I'll cut my hair, to make you stare, I'll hide my chest, and I'll figure out a way to get us out of here." 

I smiled and sang, almost silvery, and tapped my feet. "Turn off your porcelain face, I can't reall y think right now in this place.."

Thomas cleared his throat, instantly writing on his clipboard with a wide smile and cutting me off. 

"Sorry to interrupt Virgil. It was a slow song and you had already reached the maximum time." He smiled at me, with an emotion I couldn't place. I must have done horribly..

I felt panic well up but I pushed it away as I nodded. 

"The cast lists will be up on Wednesday all around campus around noon." I nodded again and got up, mumbling a thanks and leaving, feeling ready to pass out. 

I took a deep breath, though, and got on stage, pretending I was just fine.

...

I walked Roman to his next class, stating I had nothing better to do, which was almost true, except he also managed to calm me down with his stupid remarks.