"You aren't making sense." The girl states as the boy had gave a frustrated groan his fingers combing through his hair. Hardly ever was Colby Miller frustrated. Actually scratch that, Colby Miller had never been frustrated. He found himself to always be put together.
"Carly you aren't helping." Colby states as the girl put her hands up again. It was her defense against the boy twice her size.
"Alright continue then." Carly states crossing her arms over her chest. Colby wasn't good with feelings, he had made that clear with many girls before. He didn't do well with them, they all just seemed like jumbled messes to him. Talking about them, feeling them in general. They seemed to be something he didn't quite get, then gain he didn't get lots of things. He was never properly shown how feelings work.
"She confuses me, and excites me. It's weird Carly, and I shouldn't even feel that way. Because she hardly even knows me, and I hardly even know her. But - she's inviting. Well no not inviting - she's different. If that's even a good word to use for her either." The boy states as his eyes laid on the ceiling, arms crossed over his chest. He hadn't ever been lost for words, he knew how to play words for his pleasure. He prided himself on knowing how to piece words together to make girls feel things they didn't know they could feel.
"Do you think maybe you're falling for her?" Carly states as Colby had shot up.
"Absolutely not! I can't, I don't do feeling." Colby states as Carly had pulled her drink to her lips. Giving a dead expression as Colby's eyes had slowly grown wide.
"That's what I thought. So what are you going to do?" Carly states as Colby's fingers gripped onto the couch. His head now hung low as he shook his head.
"Nothing." His words came off cold, he wasn't angry with his sister. God how could he even think to be mad at her either, she didn't cause his feelings. she just made him feel like he couldn't control these feelings. They ran a muck in his brain and his chest.
"Nothing? You'll be okay with that then?" Carly states as Colby had swallowed the lump in his throat before he pulled his normal expression back on.
"Yeah, I'll be okay with that. Besides she deserves someone better then me. I'll just hurt her, we all know that." Colby states as he stood up causing Carly to roll her eyes.
"So you'll be okay watching her go be with someone else? Watching her go off and be happy with another guy? You're okay letting her just go right now? Burying your feelings and throwing the key to the locks away?" Carly states as Colby's back had tensed up. He didn't initially think about that, what would happen in the future. How would he react the second she found happiness with some other guy. Maybe it would be some guy he never knew.
"I can't be good for her Carly, she needs someone better. So yes, I'm okay with it. If that means that she'll be happier with someone who's not unsure about everything then yes. Yes I can let her go, yes I can watch her live her life the best she can. Yes I can die inside and be perfectly fine." Colby states as he continued to walk out of the living room.
***
His hands had hit the punching back again, sweat had collected across his forehead. Rolling down as his mind continued to think back on his recent conversation with his sister. His mind had continued to get lost in this conversation.
Would he be okay seeing her with someone else? It was always different when she was around the boys, because he knew they had all been friends - he shouldn't even be thinking about this. He knew he should've been okay with her finding someone else to be with. She would make great for someone else in this world.
He shook his head again, hitting the bag again before a short pained groaned escaped his lips. He pulled his fist back as he had realized he had started to bleed up under the poorly wrapped knuckles.
He knew better, he would never be good for her. He wouldn't be able to just accept that one fact. He was messy, he came with baggage. He broke girls hearts - he couldn't do that to her. He wanted her to be different, he wanted to make her different. Not who she was, but how he himself felt. He wanted to change her but love every part of her that didn't match him.
His hands held onto the bag. Forehead rested against it as he let out huffs of breath. His eyes had shut as he had pictured her back at his house again. He swallowed his breath as his thoughts consumed him again.
His fingers trailed across her arms, slowly moving to hold just under her chin. Locking her eyes to his as his bottom lip tugged between his teeth. His lips pressed against the girls, his hands had trailed down. Pulling her up to wrap her legs around his waist. His fingers tugging her shirt off of her body, as his lips reattached to her exposed collar bone. Starting a slow descent down from her collar bone.
His breathing slowly picked up as he had gripped onto the punching bag himself. He swallowed in his throat, his eyes had popped opened as he had slowly leaned onto the bench behind him. Eyes drooping closed again.
His hands had rested against her waist, her body laid out on his bed. His lips had trailed across her stomach, his fingers tracing there way down. Hardly hovering over her skin as his eyes had hardy glanced up. He watched as her lips slowly parted. His ears listening to the soft breathing that escaped them. The way she had hitched her breath slightly as his fingers trailed across her legs. In a s low movement nothing to fast that would scare her away from him.
Colby had gripped onto the bench, he had never been through something like this. His mind hardly ever consumed his thoughts with any girl. He hardly thought about girls unless he was with them at that time. His breath had hitched in his throat as his mind continued to visually attack him.
Her eyes had laid locked with his, his right hand holding him above her. While his left hand slowly trailed down lower and lower. Slipping past her underwear lining, his eyes watched in enjoyment as the girls eyes shut. A short gasp escaping her lips as his fingers trailed over one of the most delicate areas on her body. His lips slowly collided back against her throat. Leaving dark marks across her exposed skin as his fingers continued slow movement down below. His ears close enough to hear the soft moans escaping her lips. He had slowly quickened his pace. Listening as her breath started to go rugged. The warm breath fanning against his own neck as he had adjusted his position slightly above her.
His mouth had locked over her nipple his eyes still laid in her face. The way it had twisted with pleasure the way her eyes stayed close. His free hand slowly moved down as he entrapped the other nipple between his fingers. His lips pulling away as his fingers continued their attack. His eyes watched as her back slowly arched off the mattress signaling to him this moment would soon be over. Time had slowed down as his fingers parted from her. As he had watched her breath come in and out before her eyes opened again. Locked to his eyes as the smile came to her lips. God the smile that now drove him crazy at night.
Colby had opened his eyes when he heard the door opened. His breathing hitching as he could feel the tension building up in his lower areas. He could hear soft footsteps before Carly had rounded the corner.
"Hey Colby, you're friends are here. I guess you guys where planning some hang out?" Carly states as Colby had stood up quickly.
"Alright I'll be up in a second." Colby states, as he watched his sister walk away his fingers had pushed through his hair. He didn't even know if he could face her after what his mind had blow through him. Now Colby knew well enough Jacy had flooded his thoughts and there was no way in hell he was going to be able to get her out.
