Dear Cameron,
I love you, a few simple words that I don't think in my whole life I've used together. I guess that's off putting to say when this letter isn't the brightest of things. Though everything was short lived I knew that somewhere inside me we aren't meant to be. Maybe it's just god saying we have different directions to go. Maybe it's just my heart telling me I'm not good enough. I knew somewhere along the line I would've messed up, I would've messed us up. I'm a teenagers, never to mention one that's scared of her own shadow. But I will admit that I fell hopelessly in love with you, so much that is scared me. Scared me in a way I never knew possible. So that's why I decided to let you go, let you find someone who can handle that kind of love. Something that consumes them in a way that makes them forget about the bad parts of life. Things seemed messy every now and again things seemed hectic. But through all of it, you stood there like it never bothered you. I wished it could've been us to the end. That we would've lasted, I know what a silly school girl dream that is. Now I know that I'll never find someone quite like you, someone who makes all the bad feel - better. I hope this letter finds you one day, in a dark moment that you may need it. So you can know that till the end of time, I'll love you. Even when I've moved on, I'll always remember the small simple moments I shared with you. Never forget you'll always have some part of me that nobody else will quite get.
- Signed,
Kristi
Her eyes flickered over the neatly written letters sprawled across the paper. Written so lightly to not bleed through to the next page. She had no real intentions of delivering this letter to him. She never truly thought she could write it out, yet she sat int he chair. Her blanket tossed over her shoulders, hair tied back in a messy bun as she wrote. It had taken her an hour to piece the words together so they wouldn't sound harsh.
"Kristi are you still up?" The girl's voice had caught her off guard as she had hardly flickered her eyes back to the blonde girl. A small smile tugged onto Kristi's lips as she had slowly shut the notebook closed again. The letter soon getting lost in the many notes and pages of the wore away book.
"Ah not still up, bad dream. Just thought I'd relook over my notes before tomorrow's quiz." The girl spoke in a soft tone as she had flicked the light off at the desk as she had stood up. She had kept her voice quiet she knew if she spoke above a whisper the girl would hear the cracked tone in her words. She didn't look over for fear her friend would ask her about the red streaks stained across her face.
"I told you, you're going to ace that quiz. You shoulda top worrying so much." Emily's words whispered through the dark as Kristi had found herald trucked back into the bed. Her mind wandering back to the boy she had spent countless nights remembering. The memories burned into her mind, like things she would never quite forget. The way his hands felt, dancing across her skin in the night. The warmth he held around him like a blanket you'd never quite lose.
***
She had tucked the letter into her book once more. A short smile on her lips after coming home from New York. The distance had felt nice. Far away from the crazy that the town seemed to bring. She had slipped out of her own car, her hands gliding seamlessly across the mailbox as she had tucked the note neatly into the array of other letters that aimlessly sat waiting to be picked up.
"Now you've found your home." Kristi whispered as she had shut the mailbox once more, her eyes trailing up to the house. A place she had once been able to call a second home, a place she would've gladly come to. She remembered the lay out from years ago. When she had been inside more times then her own home. The rooms she had visited many times, and siblings that lived there together. A short smile fell onto her lips as she remembered her times with in the house. She had soon tucked herself back into her car as she had flickered her eyes over.
"Who's house is this?" The little girl had spoke up from the backseat. Her own eyes had been glued to the house, as Kristi had smiled shortly as she started the car.
"An old friend." She spoke as the words 'an old love.' ghosted on her lips. As a distant memory of something she once would've said. Something that still held great meaning to the girl. Her whole life was now set in front of her, and she had no plans of ever changing that. She truly thanked the world for being right, that they hadn't been meant to be. Not in this life that is, she had her happily ever after with someone else. Even if she knew she cared deeply for the boy from her past. But just as she had done, he had moved on. He had gained his own life, to settle for himself.
"Are we getting ice cream now?" The girl spoke as Kristi had laughed before she had flickered her eyes up and nodded her head.
"Yeah we're getting ice cream now." Kristi spoke as she had flickered her eyes back to the road. Ready to leave all her past behind her now. Safe for her to look back on, but not go back to.
