BROKEN

chapter 24

I wanted to meet jason and spend some time with him. I am too tired to give a shit abou anything else.  I am his girlfriend and i ought to give him the time he deserve,  well i think he does. 

I travelled the short distance i had to cover to reach my love .
I know its sounds too cheesy for me to call him my live , but what can I say , that's me and I am pathetic some times .

When I entered his room , it wasn't the view any girl would enjoy , watching their boyfriend in , amelia was sitting in his laps and brett was no where to be seen , ofcourse now she would behave like nothing happened .  After missing Brett's surprise party , I have been a bit self conscious to face him , but what the hell is this , he is mine .  I am not that overprotective ggirlfriend who behaves like a detective all the fuckin time,  but I am not gonna tackle this nicely , I know .

Amelia moved straight out of the room as i entered and jason stood up as to throw his explanation at me as soon as I ask   so I decided not to .

"Its not what you think "he said .

"Yeah , I know , it never is . "

"Look she just needed some moral support . " he tried to explain  that same old reason .

"You look , I dont know what she needed and what she didn't . It doesnt matter to me . Bit you know what does matre d. This feeling ejat is between us .

Jason , this what we have better not ne fake,  because if I fall for you once , even you would wish this to be real , trust me . "I smashed him toward the wall  , got a hold of his collar , said what I wanted to and left the room .  I was crying , but didn't wante sto,  thai is not who I am , I  don't cry.  Oh my God,  I am pathetic.

I called my mom and told her that I am coming home for a few days and will submit an application  stating the reason as family emergency for this unplanned visit .

"Hey ,  mom "I hugged as soon as she opened that door . I just cant tell how hard I am trying not to look like a crybaby who caught his boyfriend with another girl an is now upset and has come to her man . What,  I am already all of that , but I will take it .

"How's it going,  honey . " she asked me in her motherly tone , why do they know us so well .

"I saw Amelia,  my roommate's girlfrien , sitting on Jason's lap when I entered his dorm today . It was not a good sight mom . "

"Did he told you why he did so ? "

"No , I didn't gave him a chance . "

"Well , that's your mistake,  chances are always to be given .  "

"Sometimes theres just no room for them , mom ."

"You are jus t baby,  eva . You saw his best friend's girlfriend sitting on his lap for a minute and you panicked and rushed towards you mama.  When are you going to grow enough to tackle your problems , I am always there to help you , but you have to learn how to deal with problems . Listening to the other side has always been an issue  to you , why cant you just judge after listening to all the side of situation.  "

"Well , think that's hereditary,  you never gave father a chance "
Anger can bring out the worst part of few , and I am one of them .

"Sorry, what did you just said . Well,  you are totally wrong , I gave your father plenty  of chances.  If I wouldn't have , even you wouldn't be here" she screamed and ran upstairs,  so now I screwed this too . WOW! .

I waited about an hour for mom to come back and apologize for what I said , but I don wanna clarify me being a reward of her giving a chance to my father .

I started reading a book , which I have been craving for since a month now . Why can't we just stay in a room our whole lives and read our favourite books , live in peace , why only rest in peace . All the time we are on this earth we complain about our surroundings being negative , but always fail to understand that we ourselves as a human are a root cause for it . I will never understand all this fuss .

After talking to myself  for almost half hell of an hour , I decided to confront mom and went upstairs . 

I knocked the door and realizing its unlocked entered the room , envading her privacy.

"She was sitting on the bed holding my pics of the time when I was a baby . I guess she was missing the time when I didn't had enough guts to say such rude things to her and would just listen .

"I am sorry mom  , I didn't mean to say , but you know I just did l i am so sorry . "I stepped forward  and placed myself on the bed , close enough to apologize,  but not close , where she can hit me .

"You know your father and I weren't married when I was pregnant with you . He wanted to break up with me when I told him that  and wasn't ready to believe that I can bear the responsibility of a child at such a young age . I told my mom , she said that we can always abort , refused,  but after quarreling with her for days , I realized that there was no other option . "

"Then what happened ?"

"Nothing , I went to the hospital and got ready for the surgery . But I guess your birth was intended by god , your father arrived just a fee minute ago before anything could happen . He apologised and apologized repeatedly,  explained to my  mom that he is ready to bear the responsibility that comes to him as a  father . My mom wasn't ready to give it in this idea of his , but after me requesting of us making this work , she didn't had any other option , and then after 7 months you were there , with your tiny hands and little fingers , skin soft as foam  , delicate as  if you will break if someone touches you , eyes deeper than ever . We got married in this course and started working towards our married life . I gave him the biggest chance of having you , eva , even afte the ran off like a coward.  "

She hugged me , sensing that its turning to be too emotional , me being my old self tried to ran off .

"Mom , les is calling me , I think she needs me . Can i go ? "

"Sure , i was about to throw you out . I have to work . Now go , go before I cry anymore . "

I walked out thinking about what  she said and trying to be grateful fo whatever has been done   .