BROKEN

chapter 29

1 month ago

I left Jason's room as soon as it was possible for me . I was suffering with shortness of breath . It was just like I have to try too hard to take even a single breath and am gonna die . I totally agree I am not that kind of a girl who leaves  her boyfriend just because he just said some kind of a stupid thing  , not even giving a chance to amend his mistake . But I think it was just  my instinct that forced me to do that .

I don't know if I will ever go back in there but the best thing for me right now is  to leave .

It's been a week , I have not met anyone in these past 7 days . I am not that stupid to sit and cry but I have been that much to ignore his calls and run away if I see him.  Leslie doesn't know about this right now . No one else can deal with my insecurities right now but only me , I know why I left him and thatsbokay , the guy who don't respect me , is afraid to trust me , i am not made for him .

Leslie was calling me since past three days , I didn't wanted her to be here  . She will somehow tell me I am wrong and thsi will influence me to apologising and ne back with jason . I always do that , no matter how strong I try to act or put myself together.  She is a dominant personality and that trait is always the one she practices me .

"6 "les entered and said that stupid number , I know what is it about . Ahe si scoring my clothes . But , you know , this time we won't listen to her , I told my subconscious,  you are the best of you.  Just don't tell her what's happening and everything will be fine .

"Whatever "I said and saw her shocked  . It was the first time in my life that what she said didn't matter . It was all about me this time . Something was burning in my chest , I just didn't even wanted give a chance to her conversation, but still I did .

"I heard what happened.  You shouldn't have acted that way eva ." Here we go , again .

"What have I done that's not acceptable to you ?"

"Why are you talking to me like that , jesus . What have I done ? I am just saying that you should have given him a chance to explain his side .

"Well , I didn't wanted to . "I said and tears started dropping from my eyes , this is one of the things that I have reached to an agreement with , last night I cried myself to sleep after watching bride wars .

"Okay , if that's what you wanna do . "It worked . Oh my god , it worked .

"  did you met him ? I know , she did.

"Ya , longtime ago .

"Really , cause to weeks aren't that long . "

"Okay , I met him yesterday . Je is not fine without you eva , he wants you he misses you . You won't torture someone to that extent if you love him . "

"Trust  me , I haven't started yet . "I said .

"Oh yeah , sonwhats this little makeover you are going through ? " why are you blonde now , why are you wearing little crops and shorts in college . Why are you carrying this little fire in your eyes  wherever you go ? Why are you thinking about revenge rather than this being your one golden chance of love ."

"My choice , whatever I do is what I am . You can't change me or my thoughts . I need to show him that he cant insult me on my face and act like nothing happened . I love him and always will but will go back only after once I have taught him what I want to.  "

"If you  are so strong , then why are you afraid to face him .?

"Cause he make dme vulnerable , I am not able to do anything when i see him . I lost myself . I just give it in . I want to kiss him , stare him right into his eyes . Electricity passes through me when i see him or when when he is near me . I cannot resist him . Now , can you please leave ? "I screamed at the top of my voice  .

Jason's POV

I don't know what I have to do to bring her back in my life , to make her realize what i can do for her . I want her to be with me .

It's been so many days , I have tried to call her , meet her . But have not even caught her one sight  , beside that one time when we both were at english class .

"Hey "I said as les entered in my room . I am so glad she is ready to meet me . She  told me she will convince eva to meet me atleast once , but the way she walked in I dont think she was successful.

"She is not listening to me at all , all caught up in her ego , being a different version of herself , changing the way she looks . "

"What ?" I questioned .

"Yeah, she is all blonde now . All in her power mode , acting like she doesn't care. But can I say something jason ?"

"Sure  "

"If you love her don't let her go " she said .

"Its let her go "

"But that doesn't works , does it ? "