Weak//c.g ✔️

Chapter Twenty-Nine

MEADOW FLETCHER'S POV
October 15, 2017

THE covers wrapped my body, I felt dead inside. My face tear stained as I pulled Ryan's blanket closer to my body. It still smelled like him. I had no one at this point and time. That's my truth, that's what I feel. I am scared of being alone. I have never been alone. I have never felt alone. 

I had enough time alone with my thoughts, I threw the blankets off of me. I have been wearing the same clothes for a few days. 

I walked out of Ryan's room, into our shared bathroom. I turned the faucet on, yanking my clothes off of my body. I got in the shower, not caring if it were to hot. I just stood there, tears leaving my eyes, the water burning my body. A tiny sob left my lips, my eyes closed. I felt my legs giving out and I dropped, my hands keeping me up from fully falling. I wailed, my throat was hoarse. 

A towel wrapped my figure, the shower was shut off. I was picked up, my body was resting against someone's chest. I breathed heavily, crying harder. I felt both of my arms wrapped around the person's neck, I moved my head to cry in their chest. The person rubbed their hand up and down on my back. "I-I can't." I cried harder.

"You can and you will." Carl whispered, "You have to, for Ryan and for yourself." I shook my head, "No, I can't. I should've died, It should've been me." Carl gently pushed me away from him, the front of his shirt was soaked, "No, don't you ever say that." 

I gripped my hands on my towel, a tear left my eye. Carl wiped it away, "No more crying, no more feeling sorry for yourself. No more. Get up and get dressed. We're going on a walk."

I shook my head, "Carl, I-I can't-"

"Don't give me that bullshit, Meadow. You and I both know you're more than capable to get your ass up from off the floor and get dressed," Carl spat, "I don't care if I sound like a heartless prick right now, but Ryan needs you to keep fighting, he needs you to keep surviving. What happened to the girl who murdered three huge guys on her own? What happened to the girl who wasn't afraid of killing? What happened to the girl who made me get out of bed at 6 AM sharp and made me do my PT? What happened to her?"

"I-I." I was immediately cut off by Carl once again, "I love you, Meadow. That's why I am pushing you right now."

I gripped my towel, letting out a shaky breath, I stood up. "You're right." My throat felt dry. Carl stood up, he shook his head, "I'll wait out in the hallway." He stepped out of the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I looked at the clothes, putting them on. I looked in the mirror, my hair was extremely long. I grabbed the scissors, bringing them up to my hair. The door opened, Carl looked at me through the mirror, "Let me help. You'll get it uneven." 

I nodded, handing him the scissors. I stayed quiet looking in the mirror. I listened to the snipping, I watched as strands of hair fell to the ground or into the sin.

"Why do you love me?" I felt myself ask. "I've always loved you." Carl replied, still cutting my hair. "But, why?" I asked again. Carl let out a sigh, he stopped cutting my hair, "I've always been sure of it, you know? Since the church is really when I knew the most, when we joke around with each other. When you call me Cowboy Carl. When we read comics together. I love all of our moments together, even the bad. As long as I'm with you." Meadow looked down, "I know I haven't made it easy for you." I whispered.

"Nonsense, you can take as long as you want and I will still be here." Carl continued cutting my hair.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I love you, Meadow Fletcher, that's why."