After My Death Tomorrow (Published Under PSICOM Publishing Inc.)

Episode 48

One moment after, the sound changes to a song that's close to my heart. That specific song I can't get enough listening to the moment Marco confessed his feelings to me. It's Never Not by Lauv.

We were so beautiful.
We were so tragic.
No other magic could ever compare.

As we slow-dance to the tune of the song, the place became too peaceful and quiet. Ang lahat ay baghagyang sumasayaw alinsunod sa emosiyon ng kanta.

Lost myself, seventeen.
Then you came, found me.
No other magic could ever compare.

And Marco and I was there. With me locking my gaze on him. With him, smiling at me as if I am his permanent end game.

There's a room
In my heart with the memories we made.
Took 'em down but they're still in their frames.
There's no way I could ever forget, mmm.

That specific moment, parang kami lang ang tao sa buong paligid. Parang kami lang dalawa ang lula ng nagkikislapang lugar na ito.

The feelings are surreal.

It's unreal.

And I live for this magical reality.

For as long as I live and as long as I love.
I will never not think about you
You, mmm.
I will never not think about you.

"Margot." Marco said as we stay on our position. Ang kamay ko ay nakahawak sa kanyang balikat habang ang kanya naman ay nasa beywang ko.

"Hmm?" I answered while smiling sweetly at him.

Pero ang tanging sinagot niya lang sa akin ay ang pagsabay sa chorus ng kanta. Tinitigan niya ako sa aking mga mata habang kumakanta.

"From the moment I loved, I knew you were the one." His smile grew wider. From the sliver of lights above us, I can clearly see his perfect dimples to proudly flash. "And no matter what I do, ooh, mmm. I will never not think about you."

And all I can say is that I really feel his love to me from his eyes. It's all in his eyes. Damn, I can really see it right into his eyes.

Right now, I feel like a disney Princess whose now happy as she experienced her happy ending with her Prince Charming. This is too flawless that I want this to be unending. I don't want this come to an end. I want this to be the beginning of my happy ending.

Ilang minuto pa ay naisipan kong magsalita. "Can we stay like this forever?" I said while smiling at him.

"Pero wala namang forever." Bigla kong bawi habang tumatawa nang bahagya.

He chuckled. "If forever means staying with you for the rest of my life, I will gladly prove you that it does exist."

Ngumiti siya nang nakakagat labi bago muling magsalita. "It will exist."

What we had only comes
Once in a lifetime.
For the rest of mine, always compare.

Shit.

It's checkmate.

Hulog na hulog na ako at alam kong wala nang paraan para makaalis pa ako sa nararamdaman ko para sa kanya. I'm on the rock bottom. But I like it. Wala akong balak na umalis pa dito. This rock bottom is a safe haven for me because I'm assured that Marco felt the same way as I do. We are on the rock bottom of each other's feelings and that's what matters the most.

Habang patuloy siyang nakatitig sa akin, hindi ko na mapigilan ang mapangiti nang malawak habang nag-iinit na ang gilid ng mga mata ko dahil sa saya. Without him expecting for it, I quickly hug him tight.

Para bang nagulat siya doon kaya't ilang segundo siyang natigilan pero mabilis din naman siyang yumakap sa akin pabalik. As I rest my head on his broad chest, I can really feel his heartbeat. It's beating fastly and it's because of me.

"I'm madly inlove with you." He said as I continue to hug him.

Hinalikan niya ako sa aking noo. "I love you, Margot. I really do."

Patuloy na akong naluha dahil sa sinabi niya. Sobrang saya ko. Sa sobrang saya ko ay hindi ko na nagawa pang magsalita.

I want to tell him that I feel the same way. I want to tell him that I love him more but because I am overwhelmed by the bliss that I am feeling right now.

Pero walang lumabas ni isang salita sa aking bibig.

My mind's blank at the moment.

Someday, Marco.

Masasabi ko rin sa'yo na mahal na mahal kita.

Someday.

***

Matapos ang kanta, nagpaalam muna ako sa kanila na pupunta muna ako sa comfort room. Marco insisted that he wants to accompany me but I told him that I can manage myself. In the end, wala na siyang nagawa kundi ang hayaan na lang ako.

As I enter the empty comfort room, I am smiling widely. Patuloy na nagpeplay sa utak ko ang pagpapakilig na ginawa sa akin ni Marco kanina, at wala akong nagawa kundi ang mapangiti na lang nang malapad sa salamin.

I took a deep breath. As I enter the cubicle, I told myself that I need to calm down because I won't enjoy the moment if I am overwhelmed by my emotions. I have to tone down.

Most especially, I have to say those three words to Marco.

He has to hear it.

Because tonight, sasagutin ko na siya.

Tonight, we'll be official.

So, I really have to calm my fucking self down for me to perfectly say those damn three words and eight letters.

Ilang minuto akong pumasok sa cubicle at matapos din noon ay lumabas na rin ako sa comfort room. Pero muntik na akong mapatalon dahil sa gulat nang may isang lalaki ang nakatayo sa gilid ng pintuan na nilabasan ko.

"Hello, Margot. Long time, no see." The guy said and hearing his voice automatically made me shiver.

Kahit na nakasuot siya ngayon ng maskarang may disenyong balat ng ahas, nakilala ko na agad siya. Kilalang kilala ko ang boses na iyon at sa tuwing naririnig ko iyon, gusto ko na lang tumakbo dahil sa hindi maipaliwanag na takot.

"L-Lucan?" Nanginginig kong sambit habang siya ay para bang manyak na nakangisi sa akin.

As he walks towards me, I began to step back but I was shock when he quickly grabbed my wrist. I began to panic. Sisigaw na sana ako nang bigla niyang takpan ang aking bibig dahilan para walang makarinig ng sigaw ko. Ngayon ay nagpupumiglas ako habang kinakaladkad niya ako pataas ng madilim na hagdan.