Dont Wanna Live That Life (Tony X Reader)

04. I still love her

Caden pulled Jamie to dinner. Iris was sat with Bucky as the table, she was smiling as they talked about old times. "Oh baby, this Bucky, Jamie's dad. Buck this is Caden." Bucky smiled at Caden who looked so much like Steve. Caden nodded bluntly back. Iris sighed.

Caden sat down beside his mom, Jamie scrambled onto her moms lap, handing her ring back to her. "You can keep it." Iris mumbled. Bucky took of a chain he had round his neck.  He placed it on the table. "You can keep the ring on here so you dont lose it." Bucky suggested. Jamie nodded. Bucky helped her put the ring on the chain and slip it over her head.

Nat walked in with a sleepy smile. "Hey guys." She said sitting next to Caden he tensed. Iris slipped her hand into his. "Foods coming." She sensed Caden's unease. "You alright?" He nodded stiffly.

"Its okay baby, their not going to hurt you." Iris whispered. Jamie was messing with the chain and ring. Steve came in with some plates. Caden tightened his grip on his mothers hand. She said nothing. Steve gulped and handed out the plates, as the other Avengers walked in. Tony sat opposite Nat. He grinned at Iris. She smiled back.

Bruce sat next to Nat his hand on her thigh. Clint opposite him. Steve sat facing Caden, who kept his eyes down. "Enjoy the food everyone." Tony said hungrily tucking in. Iris helped Jamie find something she liked. Caden didnt let go of her hand, and she didnt even try to move it.

"So, Caden." Steve tried. "How's school?"

"Fine." Caden said, the noise of everyone talking was starting to stress him out. Bucky's metal arm scared him its Hydra symbol glaring at him. The gun Nat had strapped to her thigh. The hulk.

"He's really into drama recently." Iris said squeezing his hand six times which was their calming pattern. Steve smiled.

"Your mom liked that when she was younger too." Iris smiled weakly at Steve. "So have you done any performances?" Clint knocked over some water. Nat and Bruce jumped up with a cry. Caden panicked and ran. Iris was breathing heavily. They couldn't know. She stood up and dumped Jamie on Bucky's lap.

"Stay with Daddy sweetheart." She muttered before running after her son. Everyone stood frozen, watching her go. Jamie lent back against Bucky's chest. Slowly his arms came around her, when she didnt flinch he held her close to him.

"Caden told me you were really nice." Jamie muttered. Bucky frowned. "He remembers you growing up, he said you always protected him. If he trusts you then so do I." She said beaming at him.

"That's good doll. I'm glad you do." Bucky replied. Steve stood up and made after Iris.

Iris reached Caden, his eyes flashing red and orange. "Baby breathe." She said dropping to her knees. She took his hands.

"Get away!" He screamed. "I dont wanna hurt you." He cried. Iris shook her head.

"You wont." She whispered. He's veins were turning black. "Your okay, you know I'd never let anything hurt you. Ever. In always gonna put you and Jamie first okay?" He glanced around wildly.

"Where's Jamie?" He said panicking again.

"With Bucky. We trust him dont we?" Caden nodded slowly. Steve appeared in the door. Caden snatched his hands from his mom clawing at his face.

"Mom!" He screamed. Iris glared af Steve.

"Shush its okay. Steve leave!" She shouted. "Trust me Steve go." She shouted, a loud white noise building up. Steve with panic in his eyes shut the door. A shockwave emitted from the the room followed by Cadens scream. Steve opened the door again. Iris was on the floor, her nose was bleeding. She groaned rolling over. Caden dropped onto his knees.

"I'm so sorry Momma." Caden sobbed.
Steve could see Iris was in a lot of pain but she sat up anyway.

"I'm okay see? You cant hurt me sweetheart. Ever." He hugged her his veins losing the black touch. "Why don't you go and have a nap?" She suggested. He nodded and left the room quickly. Steve helped Iris up, he was frowning as she staggered leaning against him.

"What the hell was that?" He asked. He helped Iris to the bed and sat her down.

"When Hydra took him they experimented on him more than I admitted. Those shockwaves happen everytime really he's angry, scared or upset. They kill anything within a ten mile radius."

"Then why didn't I..." Steve started, but trailed off. He saw the cuts ans bruises that were now appearing on her arms and chest. "What? Did you absorb it?" Iris nodded.

"It doesn't happen often. He's overwhelmed. Steve, if you love your son and you want the best for him you wont say anything to anyone." Steve frowned. "They'd kill him Steve. He's dangerous if in the wrong hands. I can control him, calm him but if they all hear about you know what they'll do steve."

He contemplated for a second. "You were honest with me." He said his blue eyes meeting her green ones. She nodded. "And i know your right, but if they found out we're lying. Besides they would have felt the shockwaves." Iris nodded.

"Say it's me." She said with a sad smile. "I don't give a shit what they do to me. But if they touch my son--"

"Our son." Steve said quietly. Iris nodded. "Dont stress, I'll sort it." He gave her a lopsided grin. She smiled. He stood up.

"I'm sorry Steve. I really am." She said as he reached the door. He turned round.

"I know. And I forgive you. I spoke to Bucky and he's right you did what was best." Iris smiled lying back onto the bed.

"Do you have to go?" She asked timidly. "It hurts, and I'd rather not be alone." Steve faltered. "I've missed you Stevie." She whispered.

"I find that hard to believe." Steve said guiltily.

"No," Iris said laughing slightly. "That was Captain America. I miss my Steve. The one I grew up with." She turned her head to look at him. "If your still him, if he's still in there stay. If not then go." She said begging with her eyes to hear the answer she wanted.

"I'm neither of them." Steve said slowly. "I don't know who I am anymore." Iris sighed looking up ag the ceiling. "I should probably go and sort all the stuff out with the others." Iris nodded weakly. Steve opened the door. "I did love you Iris." He said truthfully.

"But I was never Peggy was I?" Steve said nothing. "Its okay Steve, I got over it a long time ago. Peggy was your love, and I could never compare." Steve didnt know what else to say as he shut the door and wondered downstairs.

Iris curled up in a ball and cried. Steve bumped into Bucky on the stairs. His blue eyes were full of tears. "Steve? What happened?" He asked woriedly.

"She told me about Caden." Bucky gulped. "I'm not telling anyone. I want to protect him." Bucky nodded shifting Jamie's weight on his hip.

"Then why are you crying?" Bucky asked woriedly.

"Because I just realised. I still love her. And I always did but I messed up so bad she'd never have me now." Steve pushed past before Bucky could say anything else. Jamie tugged on his hair. Bucky smiled at his daughter.

"Come on lets go give Mommy some cuddles?" Jamie nodded laughing.

When Steve came by later that night to see if Iris was okay. He found her and Bucky curled up together, the two kids in the middle of them. His metal hand clasped over hers. It broke Steve but she looked content, and that's all the mattered right?

After all it was his fault. He had hurt her.