≈ this chapter will mention eating disorders and you will show signs of bulimia. If any of these make you feel uncomfortable, please don't continue reading ♥️ ≈
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You and Johnny have been together for 5 months now. You had the strongest relationship than anyone you knew. Mainly because you both related on almost everything and you both were always there for each other. You guys were as happy as could be. Well... you WOULD be as happy as you seem to be if you weren't diagnosed with bulimia nervosa. You never thought you had a problem until your parents found you passed out in your bedroom because you had thrown up everything you had eaten that day. You hadn't told Johnny or any of the gang about it because you didn't want them to worry. They would have never even thought anything was wrong with you since you always ate SO much food, but so did they. And when you got home you purged it all out. But one day, the day everyone including Johnny, found out was one of the scariest days of your life.
You, Johnny and the gang were all together hanging out and laughing along while Darry and Soda cooked food. You were spending the night since you're parents were gonna be gone for the day tomorrow and left earlier and you figured you could go the day without feeling the need to throw up. And you really didn't want them to worry about anything. You didn't eat anything today. You just weren't hungry. But when you finally got the chance to eat, you ate like there was no tomorrow.
"And i thought i was hungry" johnny laughed at you. You just playfully punched him.
After everyone finished eating you asked Johnny if he wanted to stay which of course Darry wouldn't mind since he thought it was better than sleeping in the cold Lot or at his parents house. You guys took the couch while the boys went to their rooms and the rest of the gang went to their homes or wherever they planned on staying. You and Johnny just cuddled until he fell asleep. But you couldn't fall asleep. No matter how hard you tried. You gently sat up moving Johnny's arm that was around your waist, making sure you didn't wake him up. You really were trying not to throw up but it was like your brain was yelling at you to do it. You went to the bathroom and made sure you did it as fast and quiet as possible. But it seems you failed. You heard the door open roughly as you were in the middle of throwing up. Johnny pulled you away the second you were done and just looked at you. You could see the anger in his eyes, but it was mostly pain and curiosity. You knew he would he wondering why you would ever do something like that. He pulled your arm gently and led you outside the house so you guys didn't wake anyone up.
He sat down on the steps and ruffled through his dark hair. "How could you do that to yourself Y/n? Why?" He said emphasizing the 'why.'
"I don't mean to.. i was diagnosed with an eating disorder when i was 12.. i didn't tell any of you because i didn't want to worry you guys-"
"And you think NOT telling us would've been any better?? Y/n i get being diagnosed with it is a hard thing to take in, and get through. But if you would've told me- or any of us- we could have helped you! Prevented it! I-i dont know.."
"No you couldn't have! You guys would've just made sure i didn't eat! And even if i don't eat, i'll still freak out about my weight. You don't understand how it feels! My parents sit there and WATCH me eat and then every time i have to go to the bathroom, they have to stand there outside of the door to make sure they don't hear me gagging or whatever. None of you understand what its like to have the pain of urges to go to that bathroom and stick your finger down your throat ( tmi, im sorry 💀 ) you don't understand ANY of it!!" I said yelling, trying to be quiet.
"You're right. I dont. Im sorry for worrying- for trying to help." He looked at me shaking his head.
"I didn't mean it that way i just- theres nothing you can do. The doctor already told me I was the only way to stop myself. Unless i went and got support—"
"Then let me support you through it all- US.." he said cutting me off.
I cried. " im worried you cant Johnny. Im scared about it. I hate the feelings and urges i keep getting and the fact that i eat SO much which just causes me to think about nothing but my body weight then i just cant help but to do.. 'it' " i said hugging him while crying.
"But you are absolutely and utterly perfect y/n. Why would you ever need to worry about your body? And don't say anything because i have never met anyone more perfect than you okay? I will do whatever it takes to help you through this. Just you and me, or the whole gang if you want.."
I hugged him tighter. "That sounds nice.." i smiled
"Please promise me that you'll stop the binging. Stop the throwin' up. Or at least tell me when you feel like you have to do it?" He said looking at me almost demanding that i say yes.
"I will J. I promise you i will."
"Good. Now lets get you back inside its freezing out here." He said as he took my hand and we laid back down on the couch, continuing to cuddle.
"Im sorry i got mad at you." Johnny said rubbing my back.
"Its okay.. i understand why. It must have been hard.."
"It was.. but im glad its over. I hate fighting."
"Thats something we can both agree on." I chuckled. "I love you Johnny."
"Not as much as me y/n"
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Im sorry if this was tmi or offensive to anyone! If you or anyone you know has an eating disorder, the bets thing you can do is give them help and support 💕 Thank you for readingg (:
