Ruthless

Icon 11

I was sitting on the floor with a lap full of toys and if Jordan had it his way then I'd sit here until he gave me every toy in the house, which was well over a hundred because I always made sure my son was taken care of. I chose the name Jordan because of my older cousin Zaire, he was the only person in my family who knew about my son and when Qwaniesha was pregnant it was Zaire who helped us through it. I looked at my son and smiled, he was my everything and if I was being honest there were moments I doubted he was mine because he was just so good and me... well I was a fuck up, there was no way in hell that someone like me could make someone like him. But his face, he had all my features and that brought me back to reality, he was mine and if it came down to it I'd kill for him and with the way things were going, I would definitely have to put a bullet in Epic and Legend if the even thought about hurting him. I sat there watching as Jordan walked out of the room and came back with some more toys, Qwantay was right behind and when he looked at me he just laughed.

"Nigga I don't know why you're over there laughing, he's about to do the same thing to you." I said and right on queue Jordan pulled Qwantay into the room, forced him to sit next to me and then proceeded to place toys in his lap. "See I told you." I said laughing as Qwantay's lap began to fill up with toys.

"It could be like this every day if you listened to me, let's leave Columbus for a while.... maybe a year at the most we can come down here, get a house, Jordan can come live with us. We don't have to come down here for Chris....." I quickly covered Qwantay's mouth as Jordan's eyes narrowed, Qwantay almost slipped up and said the C-word.

"Chill...." I said seriously as Jordan watched us closely, at the very mention of Christmas he'd drop everything to put on his shoes and jacket because he under the impression that whenever that word was dropped it meant we were going to the store, for a two year old he was smart as fuck.

"Yo my bad.... it's not like he needs anything though, I mean look at this damn room. He's already spoiled but not in a bad way.... at least not yet." Qwantay said as Jordan resumed placing toys in our lap and showing us everything as if we weren't the ones who bought it. "I think we should tell your parents about him...." Qwantay said and I shook my head.

"Nah.... as fuck up as it sounds I don't trust them, I know my mom she's going to want to meet him, she's going to want pictures, and she's going to want him to come visit.... My dad is going to be over the fuckin moon about his first grandson and I just know he's not going to be able to stop himself from bragging... I can't take that chance, especially with Epic still under the belief that I killed his wife and daughter." I said quietly. "It just sucks because I know it would lift my mom's spirits to know she has another grandchild."

"Aight time to clean up." Neisha said walking into the room and Jordan started taking his toys and throwing them into his toy box. "Icon I need you to come help me in the kitchen...." Neisha said and I knew she wanted to talk. "Start chopping them onions." She said when we got to the kitchen.

"Uhh you sure about that? Last time you tried to get me to cook I damn near cut my finger off and all I was doing was filling a pot up with water....." I said and that was the truth, I was hopeless in the kitchen which is why I was thankful for Qwantay because if not for him I'd live on fast food.

"You're going to have to learn to cook Icon, especially when Jordan comes to live with y'all. Stop being such a fuckin baby." Neisha said and I decided not to say anything back. "I'm going to miss him when he leaves." She said sadly.

"You know he doesn't have to leave, at least not yet... me and Qwan's apartment isn't exactly ready for a kid yet and we still got some business to handle." I said and Neisha just looked at me. "I know that look.... what's on your mind?" I asked preparing myself for another lecture.

"Before I start.... let me just say I love Jordan, I would give my life for that little boy you know that." She said and I nodded. "But even though I carried him... I never felt like he was mine, he was always you and Qwan's son.... and I feel like he needs to be with his fathers. There are things that I just can't teach him and I....." Qwaneisha wiped the tears from her eyes and turned away from me. "I sound selfish as fuck but I....."

"Give me one year and we'll come and get him, your brother wants to move down here anyways so that should be enough time to us to handle all the business we have to take care of and find us a place down here.... One more year Neisha, that's all I'm asking for plus we'll come down here as much as we can." I said looking into her eyes.

"Okay... God, I sound selfish as fuck." She said wiping her face.

"Nah, you're not being selfish you just wanna go out and live your life.... probably find you a nice stud to settle down with." I said smiling and playfully punched me in the arm. "I know it can't be easy raising a child seemingly on your own, but you know once me and Qwan finish up a few things Jordan is coming with us permanently." I said.

"Speaking of my brother... y'all never told me how y'all ended up together. I mean I know his hoe ass was dating your brother so what happened that made.... this happen?" Neisha asked and I just smiled before walking out of the kitchen.

I know some of y'all have an issue with me stealing my brother's dude.... and if you have a problem with it please find the nearest sex store, buy the biggest dildo they have and kindly fuck yourself because how we got together is no one's business but ours. It's not like I was actively trying to take that nigga from Legend but shyt just.... happened, as for that whole Tyson thing I was just playing with that nigga besides he's not even my type.

"What did she say to piss you off now?" Qwantay asked as I walked into our bedroom, I looked at him for a second, turned my head and counted to ten. "You're a bitch Icon." Qwantay said getting up and he knew how I felt about that bitch word. "Let me guess she brought up Legend?" Qwantay asked and I continued to ignore him. "Exactly.... you're a bitch bruh."

"Chill out with that bitch word Qwan." I whispered because Jordan's room was right across from ours.

"Nigga if you're acting like a bitch then I'm going to tell you, you know I don't bite my tongue for anyone especially not your ass." Qwantay said getting in my face. "Look Icon I'm not about to keep doing this back and forth shyt with you over that nigga, just look at everything I've done for you. I told you about my twin sister while that nigga is running around thinking I'm an only child with no family. Then there's the steps we took to build a family, my sister being the surrogate for OUR child and then there's the other things I've done for your insecure ass!" Qwantay said and our eyes met.

"I'm not insecure....." I mumbled as I broke our intense staredown.

"Well you got a deep seeded inferiority complex against that nigga or something because if I wanted to be with that nigga I would be with that nigga, but I don't that's why I'm here with you and not him. So do whatever it is you gotta do to get past this because I'm done arguing with you about Legend. Jordy, you want some ice cream?" Qwantay said looking past me where our son was peeking into the room. "Get your shyt together Icon, I'm done with the arguing in my relationships... I'm too grown for all that and most of our arguments stem from either your insecurities about your brother or who's going to top...." Qwantay said kissing me as he walked out of the room.

I sat in the bedroom thinking about what he said, I wasn't insecure about shyt... I knew that nigga loved me, I knew that the connection we had was far deeper than just physical attraction... that shyt was soul-binding. What Qwantay did for me was something that I could never repay... so why was it that I was angry whenever someone brought up Legend? I mean I looked better than that nigga, I had more money, I had way more going on for me than he did and yet...... My phone started ringing interrupting my thoughts and I grabbed it because I was hoping for some good news.

"Sup Rich?" I asked laying back on the bed and thought about when would be a good time to sneak off for a blunt break.

"Where that nigga Qwantay at? I feel like this is something I gotta tell y'all together... it's about that nigga Terrence." Rich said and instantly I sat up, my blood started to boil and yet there was a chill down my spine, the chill of death... almost as if that nigga's ghost was breathing down my neck and I was taken back to the night I had to kill one of my best friends in the world, how Qwantay help me cover it up, and how this whole war between me and my brothers started in the first place......................................